Jennafina

Wow! I like it! The first sentence has really nice imagry. For the rest of my critique, I'm instead of quote marks, I'm going to use italics, because they take ...

That was cute! It was kid-ish, but not poorly done at all. I'm interested to see what the teacher does to the poor kid with dreams, but it works as ...

Hello! *does SPLOOSH homework* In Greek Mythology, the dwelling of the blessed paradise, situated at the end of the world. This sentence doesn't make sence. Maybe it could be combined ...

Oh dear... Blade incest. :lol: Looks like Fishr got most of this, but I do have one thing. I feel...and I lust. With the katana I cut off my clothing. ...

Hey Hannah! Great to see another story! :) She pulled back the stray strands of long brown hair that hung loose around her shoulders, framing her face and setting alight ...

The first thing I noticed, even before I read any of this, is that it's completely clumped up. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE make some spaces! It hurts my eyes.... ow... Okay, ...

I like this all, and you're right, it's alot different from your norm. The tone is pretty cynicle(sp?) and that makes it even better. I have a few coments though... ...

Wow. As always, I am completely jealous of your amazing unmatchable incredeble poetic ability. I especially like how, though you change subjects alot, each stanza conects with the one before ...

Wow, even though I don't understand what this is suposed to mean at all, I really, really like it. It's cool how each discriptive word has a line, and then ...

Niiiiiiiiice. I think the lines in capitals should be in italics... And also, this is poetry, so I don't think it has to be censored. Although, I'm not complaining. **** ...

Interesting. The writing style seems distant, but it makes me curious to see the rest. His romantic soul was prone to find older beginnings, ideas born from lofty writings or ...

Here I am again! Because my review via email was completely substandard and I'm feeling guilty, I've come back. I think I said something like 'I looooove it.' *Bad jennafina! ...

That made me think. I like the last line especially, it makes it different. There were alot of typos, though. You should read through it and see. For I few ...

Wow... I like this too. Its kind of haunting. The last line, like Dusky and BD said, really makes this different, and memorable. You seem to have changed it though... ...

The chopyness here really built up the tension, and gave it much more atmosphere than it would otherwise. Ditto Chevy about the lacing me up line; it needs some followthrough. ...