Jas

Awww! This was so heart-breaking! Only a couple Nit-Picks: The N in Nissan should be capitilized. I made a disgusted look when I saw the sink. The pans had crust ...

I love this! I'm pretty sure it's in a goth guy's perspective but maybe that's just me. I liked the sentence "Her words, though distant and faded call out to ...

Once again I like it. I don't understand the transition. Is she telling the story to the people who saved her or is she just reminising herself. You should explain ...

I loved the last line. During the story, I was interested by what was happening butI hadn't found that pizazz, then the last couple of lines intruiged me and brought ...

This is great! I think that the only little nitpick I saw was this paragraph: Despite the mind-numbing conditions, the trip was a relatively short one. One a day and ...

I liked this but the line AS children we chase each other in friendship and love, I think the love doesn't really fit, because when I was like 10 I ...

I was skeptical at first because of the name..seems very immature but the writing itself was very powerful and meaningful. If I were you, I'd read that to the crapface ...

I like the thought of a hybrid and stuff but I'm confused wasn't this girl just about to be raped then saw her rapist be pulverised. That would cause PTSD ...

I once again adored this! I love the scandal, she had asked him to join the army and he died. I hope that this will not be your title however. ...

Hey I loved this but I think that when the speaker gave the medal it was a bit corny. You should put something more official sounding than 'for an outstanding ...

Wow. I am in awe. This is really good! I liked it ALOT. I always loved stories about WW2 and I actually plan to write a love story between a ...

Hey, No offense to you or your story but the Vampire thing is a bit cliche at this point. I'm going to keep reading but be aware to not make ...

I love this but at the end it should be either the sound of a baby or the sound of babies, you put the sound of a babies. I really ...

Hi! 1. Paragraphs P1 I liked the introduction paragraph. It's the type of thing that intruges people. Plus it has to do with dark so I'm up for it :) ...

I liked this....mayvbe this chapter should be called Demon in the Closet since it's such a cliche now and days for a little kid to think there are monsters in ...