Peace in Solitude

by LovelessSummer
  • January 20, 2010
  • Short Story

((Sorry. Had to edit this out. It was old anyway! Haha.))

Comments & reviews · 3
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Jas
Review
Jas wrote a review · Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:38 pm

I love this but at the end it should be either the sound of a baby or the sound of babies, you put the sound of a babies. I really really liked this! ") (side smile) Please Pm me when next chapter is up :)


~Jasmine Bells~
Peace, Love, Writing, Insanity and Chocolate

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MorganJoJO
Review
MorganJoJO wrote a review · Wed Jan 20, 2010 4:11 am

This is really good! Just a few things I have comments on:
First,

The pain of loss love perhaps?
Do you mean lost love? If not, then I recommend some sort of break in between loss and love, like a hyphen or a semi-colon or even a period.
And, (sorry if I'm nit-picking) here:
It mustn't let it give up
do you mean I or it? If you mean it then take off the "let it."
You keep on switching from past tense to present tense. Either one is fine in my opinion, just stick to it. That's all for my nit-picking. :) It was very emotional and your vocabulary is excellent. I would love to read more of the same story (Or is it a short story?) so if you write more, feel free to PM me!



Maybe we're all just complex human beings with skewed perceptions of each other.
— Ventomology