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Jared

  • Poetry » Fantasy, Dramatic Re: Soul Eater

    I like this poem. I really do. I have a few nitpicks to address, but other than that, I want to say I do like this poem. First of all, ...

    Apr 21, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Teen Fiction Re: Separation (Farewell)

    Review time! Hello! First impression: This was a good story, but it was hampered by small grammar mistakes and a few other issues. Nitpicks: I'll start from the top. I ...

    Mar 1, 2015
  • Poetry » Dramatic, Romantic Re: The Rose

    Hello there. This is my first review in months. I'm revising my review structure. Let's see how this goes. First impressions: I read this twice. My initial thought is that ...

    Mar 1, 2015
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Adonia, Beloved - Chapter One *rewritten*

    Discussion I'll go through bit by bit talking about it. One of the first things I noticed is the spaces, which detracted from my ability to fully absorb your writing. ...

    Oct 4, 2014
  • Art » General, General Re: Diamond Rose with Loads of Screentone

    I think that the textures serve to be an interest contrast, and I enjoy overall detail you put in many different aspects of this piece. One of my only nitpicks ...

    Oct 4, 2014
  • Short Story » Narrative, Dramatic Re: They just wont fall.

    My main nitpicks are: -Capitalization of i -Apostrophes (she's) versus (shes) Other than that, I liked the use of language to portray emotion and overall I find this to be ...

    Oct 4, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Teen Fiction Re: "Broken" Prologue

    Hello there. Nitpicks and Changes: Then by a twist of fate, we were assigned to do a school work together. Locked inside four walls with no company but each other, ...

    Oct 4, 2014
  • Short Story » Teen Fiction, Science Fiction Re: d

    Time for a review again after a brief hiatus in reviewing activity. First, I will start with nitpicks/suggestions: So, first day of school was here. I ran my fingers across ...

    Oct 4, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Narrative Re: Chapter one: A Human (Flash fiction)

    Nitpicks and corrections: My name is Terry Nolsten. I have been a slave most of my life. Untill he came, that is. Shin Ak. The savior, the Legend. "I had ...

    Aug 19, 2014
  • Article / Essay » Realistic, Literature Re: Wordsmithing: A Response to Grammar

    I have to say, I truly agree with most of this. The one thing that really stuck with me is this: And they forget, or are willingly ignorant or even ...

    May 26, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, General Re: Yesterday - Where's my light? (Pending title)

    Why, hello there. Jared here with a review. First up, nitpicks So [,] she shouldn’t really be surprised when she tripped on her own shoe lace and stumbled down the ...

    May 26, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: The Veil - Chapter 8

    Alright. This is likely my last review on Review Day. I'm going to make it good. First, nitpicks. They seemed to overlook her [,] which was fine. See comma. Mostly ...

    May 25, 2014
  • Poetry » Narrative, Literature Re: Boundless

    This is definitely an interesting poem. I thought you did a very nice job putting a lot of meaning into a very short poem. There are those that exist that ...

    May 25, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, Teen Fiction Re: The Road To My Heart. Chapter #1

    Hello there. It's Jared, with another review. First, nitpicks: Before I start on your first paragraph, you should know: It's cluttered. That's the best way to put it. You're putting ...

    May 25, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fanfiction, Teen Fiction Re: The Road To My Heart. Chapter #1

    I'm going to add more on this, actually (I accidentally made a second review, I might as well fill it up properly). I'll start with the fact that this shouldn't ...

    May 25, 2014


The function of education is to teach one to think intensively and to think critically. Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
— Martin Luther King, Jr.