JabberHut

Hi there! I like the idea you have here. You've got some good material, and I think it has plenty of potential! But one thing I'm terribly concerned about is ...

I'm back! So I found this chapter a bit better than the others. You took a bit more time in describing things, so bravo! I have a hard time believing ...

Hello! Very nice piece, and I loved some of the description you used. This is a great start to a novel that, by the sounds of it, could go pretty ...

Hello! This is a very well-written story. It would be interesting to continue if you did, but it's also a great stand-alone piece. The ending line seemed to be a ...

Hi, P&P! I really love your idea here. It's off to a great start! You've set up a basic setting for your world, and it's very interesting to me. I ...

I'm here! I always loved hearing about Pearl Harbor. I actually went there once, and it's extremely awe-inspiring. You've hit the right chords a few times with this piece. My ...

Hello! Very cool idea! My gut definitely cringed at the end there, so you had some great description working for you! I found myself zoning out in places though and ...

I'm back! Well, I could definitely follow the action much better in this chapter. Terrin sounds like the cool, calm, and collected bad guys that I love. I'm kind of ...

Hello again! Allow me to mention a possible grammar check again! It will help the reader understand so much better. (i.e. "definitely" and "defiantly" are two different words) Alright, so ...

Hello! The others mentioned grammar, so I won't do anything but emphasize it like I am now. Grammar. So! This was very short, sweet, and to the point. I think ...

Hello! Are you a poet? 'Cause I could detect some poetic descriptions and such throughout the narrative. Very cute. As is the entire story itself (until the end with the ...

Hiya, Teddy! I find this idea very cute! Especially Rudolph. He makes me smile. Every story needs a lovable character like Rudolph. (Though is it really legit to have pet ...

Hi there! This is such a sad story. Sweet and sad all the same. Poor Dad's losing family left and right here. First off, there's some major Point-of-view switching in ...

Hi there! This is a short, sweet, and to-the-point story. I like it! I wonder if you'll continue it? It'd be interesting to see what happens to her now that ...

Hello! Very interesting piece. I wasn't sure what you were doing with the hyphens for a while, and still I'm not sure what their purpose is. I thought maybe you ...