JFW1415

It's late and I'm probably way too tired to be critiquing, but I'm doing it anyway. So there. =] First, I'd like to see the ages defined a little more ...

[remind me to check dates next time? urgh. oh well - ignore this if you wish. It's not that that old?] haha, I loooooove the ending. Very much so. =] ...

This was very good - gold star. One thing I'd like to see more of is the tension. We hear it and we know she feels it, but we don't ...

If tomorrow was the big day, why not start there? With stories, you always want to start in the middle. Don’t give us all this information at the start – ...

I didn't check your age, so I don't know if you simply need to take more pride in your writing or if you're just too young to understand all the ...

I know you aren’t going to like this, but this isn’t very good at all. I don’t know why – the prologue wasn’t that bad, grammar speaking and all – ...

I haven’t read the rest of this story, but I can already tell you that this is not needed. 9 times out of 10, that is the case with a ...

Awww. Thanks for putting a smile on my face. =] I only have a few comments for you, since I liked this a lot. The first is, why aren’t the ...

This is a sweet little story, but I wish you had slowed down a little bit. You’re not reciting a story out loud, so you can use a different tactic ...

My main problem with this was the lack of emotions and senses. This isn’t an action book, it’s an emotional one. What’s going through his mind? Why’s he think he’s ...

Especially because there is so little action in this story, you really need to beef it up with other things. Bring us a little closer to Gia, and allow us ...

lol. The things an imagination will do to love. =] Anyways, this was a very cute piece. I definitely liked the gentle perfection of the man, and the sweet shyness ...

I don’t really know what to say to this, because I honestly enjoyed it. It was written well and everything tied together perfectly. I have a few things that bothered ...

This is a very nice portrayal of a rather stereotyped figure. However, the ending confuses me. It seems like she wants the world, not the tour, yet when she goes ...

I definitely like the idea of this, and some parts are very good, but you rush a lot. You choose to show these scenes because they are important, yet you ...