JFW1415

Hello! I was looking for stuff to critique, and settled on this. XD Overall Comments Since it's so short, I'll throw everything into the overall one. XD - Write [/spoiler] ...

~ the following actions taken by the main character or any other character should NOT be re-enacted or re-written, this novel has already been written and has a copyright, any ...

Hello! I'm the lame-bum who critiques random stories, so here I am! XD “Eve! Over here.” A man's voice called out to me. I was at the bar when I ...

Critique number 2 1/2 for third in my Side Characters Contest. Sorry it took so freaking long to post this. I completely forgot about it + the first half of ...

Hello! Nit-Picks It had been common knowledge of the people of Cyris since the Great City’s dawning, the unspoken rule of thumb, for the Night was a stealthy creature. So, ...

Hello! I'm Jen/Jelly/JFW/1415/whatever you'd like to call me. I was browsing through the forums and saw that this only had one critique and, while it looks like a good one, ...

So, I was browsing through the forums and saw that this had no critiques. Someone did beat me to it, but I'll still give you mine. XD> Nit-Picks The air ...

Hello! I was just browsing through the forums and saw that this only had one critique, so I decided to give you one! Hope you like it. Nit-Picks It's been ...

Hey! I was just looking through the forums, saw that this only had one critique, and decided to give you one. So! Here goes... Nit-Picks He swallowed. “Absolutely not.” You ...

Hey, Jare, I have a new deal for you. I'll count the fat boy critique as 1/2, and this as 1/2, and dirt as 1. So you have one left, ...

I did read (and critique) And All This But Mere Perceptions, and then I skimmed it just now, but if I forget anything please don't yell? The promised (late) critique. ...

Well, I'm being a loser and only doing an overall, 'kay? XD Besides, others got the nit-picks, and I've critiqued waaay too much today for my own good. XD Thoughts ...

Nit-Picks [s]And Natasha Bryvlinski was her guiding light, her badgering encouragement. The two of them had been friends since they entered middle school and realized in homeroom that they had ...

Nit-Picks So then , I'd ditch this comma. “I’ll be right there!” Suzan screeched You just used this and it's way too annoying to use twice. Try 'called,' or 'called ...

Nit-Picks I was in the school library, right, What's the point of the 'right?' I [s]see [/s] saw so I [s]was [/s]watched her. Brianna didn’t know what to do. How's ...