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Re: It’s about time
What a cliff hanger. But anyways, let's get on to the review. Firstly, I saw little to no grammatical or spelling errors, but this sentence caught my eye: "They were ...
Oct 16, 2013 -
Re: Tension On The Field: Chapter One
First of all, before I start the critiques, I must commend you on bringing this idea to life, adding twists, and your unique name choices. Myself, I'm not a large ...
Oct 14, 2013 -
Re: Detachment
I'm normally/usually/mostly not at all a fan of science fiction. But you, good sire, have changed that... somewhat. Firstly, I'm not sure if it was just me, but in: "In ...
Sep 24, 2013 -
Re: A Little Demon at Camp part 1
Firstly, I saw "I suppose I should be surprised, but 111 of being a demigod can certainly ruin that much." What is "111"? 111 years old, 111 singing donkeys, 111 ...
Sep 18, 2013 -
Re: Snowflake
I really liked this story, your details, and especially your style, and how you wrote it. Yes, as some other guy mentioned as well, I did see a couple grammatical ...
Sep 18, 2013 -
Re: Two Sparrows
While I truly loved your descriptions, beginning "hooker", and the relationship you created between Shira, Ashi, and Hane, I was a little confused. I don't feel like you added much ...
Sep 17, 2013 -
Re: Saints.
Whoa, violent. But I still liked it quite a lot. Couldn't stop reading. Alright, firstly, a lot of spelling errors. From the first sentence, I was confused. "Alex stated at ...
Sep 17, 2013 -
Re: The Mob Boss
I can't really find much to critique on, besides some small details. In the sentence: "We took money from those who wanted anything as simple as protection; or as complicated ...
Sep 17, 2013 -
Re: The Nameless Generation - Prologue
I think this was a really descriptive and beautiful short piece of writing. Personally, I sometimes can't help myself from skimming some pieces I review. But there are those few ...
Sep 16, 2013 -
Re: Candy-stringed
I'm not really a poem fan, but I liked this, particularly because of its length. Poems are usually confusing for me. Too much symbolism and stuff. But this was very ...
Sep 15, 2013 -
Re: The Great Pokemon Adventures! Chapter 1 Part 2: On The Road To Cobblestone City
I thought it was really cool that you extended the world of Pokemon in writing, and I really like this idea. However, I think you could make the battles a ...
Sep 15, 2013 -
Re: The Land Called Fear
Right, so you're looking for some critiques. FIRSTLY, I HAVE TO GET ACROSS THAT, SWEEEEET DAMN, I LOVED YOUR DESCRIPTIONS. Okay, now that's out of the way, I can't help ...
Sep 15, 2013 -
Re: A seriously bad story.
I think that you're on to something... promising with your ideas here. Kinda. But anyways, run-on sentences were the main highlight of your story, with spelling and grammatical problems in ...
Sep 15, 2013
