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IntellectualBacon

  • Short Story » General, General Re: It’s about time

    What a cliff hanger. But anyways, let's get on to the review. Firstly, I saw little to no grammatical or spelling errors, but this sentence caught my eye: "They were ...

    Oct 16, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Teen Fiction, General Re: Tension On The Field: Chapter One

    First of all, before I start the critiques, I must commend you on bringing this idea to life, adding twists, and your unique name choices. Myself, I'm not a large ...

    Oct 14, 2013
  • Short Story » Science Fiction, Dramatic Re: Detachment

    I'm normally/usually/mostly not at all a fan of science fiction. But you, good sire, have changed that... somewhat. Firstly, I'm not sure if it was just me, but in: "In ...

    Sep 24, 2013
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Fanfiction Re: A Little Demon at Camp part 1

    Firstly, I saw "I suppose I should be surprised, but 111 of being a demigod can certainly ruin that much." What is "111"? 111 years old, 111 singing donkeys, 111 ...

    Sep 18, 2013
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Other Re: Snowflake

    I really liked this story, your details, and especially your style, and how you wrote it. Yes, as some other guy mentioned as well, I did see a couple grammatical ...

    Sep 18, 2013
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Other Re: Two Sparrows

    While I truly loved your descriptions, beginning "hooker", and the relationship you created between Shira, Ashi, and Hane, I was a little confused. I don't feel like you added much ...

    Sep 17, 2013
  • Short Story » Horror, General Re: Saints.

    Whoa, violent. But I still liked it quite a lot. Couldn't stop reading. Alright, firstly, a lot of spelling errors. From the first sentence, I was confused. "Alex stated at ...

    Sep 17, 2013
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, Teen Fiction Re: The Mob Boss

    I can't really find much to critique on, besides some small details. In the sentence: "We took money from those who wanted anything as simple as protection; or as complicated ...

    Sep 17, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Action / Adventure Re: The Nameless Generation - Prologue

    I think this was a really descriptive and beautiful short piece of writing. Personally, I sometimes can't help myself from skimming some pieces I review. But there are those few ...

    Sep 16, 2013
  • Poetry » General, General Re: Candy-stringed

    I'm not really a poem fan, but I liked this, particularly because of its length. Poems are usually confusing for me. Too much symbolism and stuff. But this was very ...

    Sep 15, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Action / Adventure, Humor Re: The Great Pokemon Adventures! Chapter 1 Part 2: On The Road To Cobblestone City

    I thought it was really cool that you extended the world of Pokemon in writing, and I really like this idea. However, I think you could make the battles a ...

    Sep 15, 2013
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Horror Re: The Land Called Fear

    Right, so you're looking for some critiques. FIRSTLY, I HAVE TO GET ACROSS THAT, SWEEEEET DAMN, I LOVED YOUR DESCRIPTIONS. Okay, now that's out of the way, I can't help ...

    Sep 15, 2013
  • Short Story » Action / Adventure, Dramatic Re: A seriously bad story.

    I think that you're on to something... promising with your ideas here. Kinda. But anyways, run-on sentences were the main highlight of your story, with spelling and grammatical problems in ...

    Sep 15, 2013


I am big enough to admit I am often inspired by myself.
— Leslie Knope