Incandescence

Dearest Raven, Welcome! I hope you find YWS hospitable and, further, beneficial to your personal musings and maturity. As for the poem, I am left wondering: What is going on ...

Hey Miss Murder, Can I offer up a critique? Enjoy some inline comments with hot chocolate: Let me (try to) understand [:] There’s (this ) [a] feeling in my hand ...

Hey bob, Surely this piece should be a great success here for the rose garden soppy love devotees legion. Among us urban dwellers, however, this is in need of repair. ...

Dear xanthan, I hope you appreciate some in-line commentary. Apple grinds are not filtered out(,) [;] ( and) [they] cling to (the insides of your )capillary walls [inside you] , ...

Hi yoha, I find this very long as it is trying to find something worth saying. In that sense it is far, far too short. There might be something in ...

xanthan, A few in-line comments for you to use or lose. Most of this is working pretty well. Romancing sand-dancer, I’m on the pirate shore, hand in hand with destiny ...

Hi Jiggy, -The poem has good elements, apparently. -Others here have seen these good elements. I tend to go hard on morose, hopeless, blizzardedly ((okay, this is fun)) assertive-loser poems. ...

Hi Colier and welcome to YWS! This poem is problematic for me because you are a little too prosaic in your descriptions. Some instances in the piece, and especially the ...

Thank you all for the kinds words. The piece really isn't deserving of them. Rease, I refuse to tell you the meaning of my poem. A poem's meaning varies from ...

Hi again, Aenvgiel-- I'm not sure this poem is working. Somebody is sure to say that the poem is reportage, but that does not bother me. What the poet reports ...

Hi ZanyPlebian, I like the first strophe. My only quibble is that "free soul" is such a non-descriptive term, when compared to the rest of the piece. It doesn't really ...

Hi Ainvgiel, This is a confusing work, to say the least. The punctuation here breaks up the flow of the poem with little or no benefits in return. I cannot ...

Hi volleychik992, Welcome to YWS; I don't think I've met you yet, so I hope you enjoy it here. Now, on to your poem... I don't see the correlation between ...

Wilting roses is a fine metaphor. However, the rose i gave you last night, dripping with raindrops and lost tears, is OTT. I was confused as to exactly what you ...

My sincerest apologies for posting this: it is no poetic piece. To the contrary, it dabbles in the realms of prosaic characterization at which point verse loses meaning. In a ...