Incandescence

3-Damentional, This is junk - a clumsy pastiche of lines that leads nowhere slowly, and which is framed in language sometimes not even your own (lyrics from songs that were ...

Talking_Pinata, The first lines are the only thing remotely interesting in the piece. S2 offers a reference to "something" sinister in the sky--what is it? Whatever it is, it apparently ...

ChildofEden, What is the reader supposed to take away from the piece? Am I supposed to be moved, to empathize with the plight of the narrator, to enjoy it purely ...

Because I wanted to..., The gender-swapping pronouns seem random and undefined in S1 and S2, and while I get a pretty good idea of what's going on, I think you ...

oneeyedunicornhunter, First, who is the intended audience for this? I got no clear sense of who you are writing this for from the language itself--it seems mostly like a personal ...

Vernon, This is mediocre at best. The sentiment is pedestrian and offers nothing new in the area of Hollywood's culture (or lack thereof) to stimulate the reader. The presentation as ...

Wolf, Consider dropping all of S2. The enjambment in S1 works well enough until the last two lines. There is no reason to break " / find / out." It ...

Allam Remard, This: "Your color took me the wrong way" is by far the best thing in a poem that features an unconvincing start, a lack of attention to presentation, ...

Diva, This is mediocre at best. A significant part of the problem is conceptual. This is a poem about a narrator who feels isolated from the world but finds solace ...

betsyy, No. This is a tortured meandering on the way to a questionable point. There are all sorts of problems here, beginning with a first line that goes "thud" when ...

Damn! By far the best poem for at least a few pages--there's a lot to like here. The foundation of "life" versus prenatal bliss could be fine-tuned a bit; the ...

harrypotterbooklover101, ... what ? This dies at the title, and the fundamental conflict seems to be driven by...wait, what conflict? There's nothing that follows that is either unexpected or new. ...

babyboymilky, This is junk and substantially worse than the other effort I read of yours. It's a poorly conceived, ineptly executed stream of gibberish that resembles millions of other pieces ...

Twilight_girl101, I got to the end of S3 and almost passed out from sheer boredom. There's just not much to get excited about. The reader recognizes the situation but is ...

babyboymilky, This is awful. S1 starts off with the stereotypical rhymes of love/dove and the subsequent narrative is almost embarrassing to see - cliché follows cliché until the end is ...