Ieatworms

You convey some very good ideas here, but they seem unpleasantly fragmented in their presentation. I love your word choices- moon pleated, moving and unmoving. I didn't find your statements ...

I agree with Chevy about the comma (or semicolon) in "You smell like the perfume Impulsion and Caprice should" I realize you probably kept Impulsion and Caprice close together for ...

If this was set to music, I'd surely rock out to it. I have to admit, though, that I almost did not read it because of the title. A Yin ...

I liked the cadence you established with the first stanza "down in the dark where ideas lurk like twisting steamy vapours amidst cold trees; there you will find me" I'd ...

You captured a nice moment here. I agree, though, that some wording needs work. My body sweats From the warm glow Of your love for me Of your eyes My ...

"The grass waves goodbye without feeling, stuck on the thought that the wind will never leave." I like the irony here- that the grass can only wave "goodbye" while the ...

I think this is my favorite poem I've read on this site so far. You really have a grasp on the power of words, so you don't need to use ...

I love the spider imagery. However, I must admit to laughing when I read the title. I actually chose to read this because it looked like it would be funny. ...

I agree with Liz that nothing really stands out as unique to you, as the writer or as the speaker. It is, however, easy to relate to. I like the ...

Very driving. I particularly like "and their friendships but wars, ceased, " I don't think there's a better way of phrasing that. It left me wanting to know more about ...

Incandescence: You were very thorough here, and had some good points. I agree with: "make sure you don't swap between 'he' and 'the boy' or 'the youth' because it is ...

Oh yeah! I get to be the first to reply. I especially like the repetition of the first lines as the last. That lends a nice sense of completion without ...

Yeah, I know I wasn't supposed to read this one. Teehee. I hate the title. 1) You only get one first kiss. Sorry I don't have a word for "first ...

To be honest, I couldn't read straight through to the ending. It didn't catch my attention. I think it would be better in third person. It annoys me when poets ...

This is about the comfort of sleeping with someone; the language [b]should[/b] be languid (as it is), the rhythms [b]should[/b] be slow (as they are) and the feeling [b]should[/b] be ...