Ieatworms

"He was a thin boy running for the school bus, watched from every window by thick-petalled, magnolia faces soured by a finicking contempt for the sweaty, lanky bumble of himself." ...

I agree with the previous comments regarding clarity. It was difficult to distinguish distant past, past, and present. I also agree that the capitalized He was unnecessary. It was very ...

You told your story very well. It had the feel of the classics. Vaguely Poe. There are a few clarity issues and rhythm breaks to iron out. For example: The ...

Funny but cruelly pointed. As was said, it would be funny if it was felt you were poking fun at yourself as well. You might want to considered using "good" ...

I can really relate to going through a dairy and having it smack of someone else. You captured it well. I can spot a few things to make it better: ...

Wow. I feel like I've been punched in the gut. Very powerful. You combine words in ways I never would have imagined. Your title is a real turn-off, though, If ...

You did a great job using a consistent and strong voice throughout this piece. You immersed yourself and the audience thoroughly in your story. However, I agree that while you ...

I impressed you made such despicable comments sound so lovely. Words seem to be familiar tools for you; you use them perfectly. I would say, I want to smack you ...

I like the blends here: conversational yet lyric, sweet yet vulgar, brutally blunt yet ambiguous. The arrangement reminded me of the tangle of emotions involved in love- the emotions that ...

I'm always terrified to start writing on a blank page. I think I'll ruin it. I think what I have to say is probably better left unsaid and the potential ...

I'm pretty ambivalent about this. You built tension extraordinarily well in the beginning, but lost it as your tone became more romantic. Actually, I felt kinda broadsided by the change. ...

This was the first fiction I read on this site because I loved the title, and I enjoyed it. I think you need to better establish the grade level of ...

I hope it's not true that you abandoned this poem but kept the feelings. If it is, I've found that starting a poem over with a different form or rhyme ...

My art professor once told me 'Art isn't beautiful. It's isn't pretty. It's a comment". I think that applies here. Qi- this poem honestly did not make me feel much ...

I know how much you hate for people to get the wrong idea, so I'll draw attention to this: "i dont drink unless im drowning in my emotions" I'm assuming ...