Hypknowsis

Good poem; liked the flow. A few things I would change: black as ashes I recommend changing to just "ash" parched as though they have not been graced by rainfall. ...

Great poem! Loved it! There seems to be a lot of emotion in here, so maybe you could make it longer. Also, I think that you should, in the last ...

Great poem! I can't really complain about anything.... It's a little cryptic, but that's ok. I guess all I can do is nitpick. Someone will replace me on this stage, ...

This is a good piece; tons of emotion which is always fantastic. I would seriously consider changing the whole thing into the poem-like format that the latter half is in. ...

Great poem! Obviously dark, but that's ok. I loved the ending line. Stab me to death, Shank By shank. Where you can’t see me And you can’t touch me. I ...

Okay, I'm going to be brutally honest. Sorry if I offend you. This piece needs some work. It starts off really well, but the ending is pretty weak. Mainly how ...

----------------- Let me just start out by saying this is a brilliant work in progress. I will commence nitpicking. The ringing sound of my open palm I would reword this ...

disguising ourselves in falsification. As each day passes we grow more insecure ; No longer the children we were once before . [Shed the mask before its too late. Begin ...

Darkness and chilling, Frightened screams and deathly jeers; Tells the end is near. Sorry to ask you to change it again, but I don't think chilling is good enough (but ...

Running, keep on running, keep stumbling over dandelions and burn burn burn yourself out, we’ll will be brighter than our parents, blazing through the sky. We’ll be prettier than cracked ...