Young Writers Society

Hi Samsal! I'm Kat *shakes hand* and I'm here for a review!

So, I'll do a two lines by two lines review, okay?

On it!

I do not have it in my heart to hate...
Even if u makes me crash and burn.

First of all, grammar wise, please don't use chat speak ('u'). Chat speak is not allowed -- that's one of YWS guide rules. People will appreciate your writing far better if you have good grammar
That also includes tense mistakes. In the second line that I quoted, the 'makes' should be 'make', because makes is only used on the third person while the person here is the second ('you').

I enjoy your use of punctuation here. The ellipses gave that line a break, a pause, that gave it more meaning. And the period was quite effective too, but I would suggest you change it to this '--', because the next line is something not obviously, but still related to the above.

I can't really get what you mean yet, in this, but it's only the first two lines, so I'll do the use of imagery and emotion in the end, okay?

I do have room in my heart for love,
just because I’m that type of girl...

I only have two things I'd like to point out here:
- The ellipses aren't needed here, and they seem to stall your poem a bit, so try a period.

-The second line is blunt and detached. It doesn't seem to relate much. If you develop why you are the kind of girl that loves everything, it would work best. Or you could just replace that line is something that would fill the small void.

I do not have it in my heart to break yours,
even if you've broken mine.

My point here resolves around the same matter in two different ways:
- The first line is too long, it chops up your flow. I was going to suggest for you to turn 'do not' to don't, but that would just ruin your structure. But you should make this shorter. You could try and brake it, but then it would also ruin the pattern (A, B -- A, B, C <-- two lines to three lines). My biggest advise here is to try and cut out some sillabelles the best way you can. But be careful not to make it too short

-In the second line, I suggest you change 'you've' to you have, because it would help your structure and flow, since you have been doing 'do not' instead of the abreviation don't.

I do have it in my heart learn, grow, forgive
make sure to next time choose another turn...

There's a word missing in the first line (if it's not missing due to a typo, it doesn't make sense). I think a 'to' is needed before learn, since you're saying you can learn, grow and forgive. It's actually a good choice of verbs, since most people would say 'love' or 'cry' or something. I think it makes a strong stand. The other thing missing is a comma after forgive.

I understand the second line, but not in this poem. It doesn't make sense near the above one. You were talking about something, and then you abruptly changed it. Was it to try and rhyme? It didn't work, and never, ever, throw words in just to rhyme. Make sure you revise this, because it's a very bad thing to have an outter line in a poem. You need it to work and flow all together And no need for ellipses once more!

What I do not have it in my heart...
you seem have it in your soul...

I love this two lines! They are by far my favorites, and close the poem perfectly. My only complain here, is to please take out the ellipses. At least, the one in the first line. They aren't need, and any other kind of punctuation or even none in the last line, would do it better.

Imagery and Emotion
It was okay. Nothing I could really feel or sense, but it was okay, working good on this short and cute poem. You should try and consider putting something more in it. It had some emotion, some being the opperative word. But don't make it longer! When you use the same structure 'I do not, I do' for too long it will get boring.

Overall: Nice! I liked reading it. So, revise that line, and cut out some ellipses, take a good look and you'll be fine!

PM if you have any questions.
-Kat-

Great poem! Loved it! There seems to be a lot of emotion in here, so maybe you could make it longer. Also, I think that you should, in the last line, you should change heart to soul as what is or isn't in your heart is a theme in the piece. Maybe the last line should be something like "You seem to have in yours". One more point:

make sure to next time choose another turn...

This line was really confusing. I'm not quite sure what you meant to say with this.

In general, though, this is a great piece. I recommend just forgetting about it for a month then coming back to it and seeing what you would change.