HarpoMarx

it's good. But try and link up some of the...I don't know what you call them in poetry terms but some of the lines...if you get what i mean. I ...

FADE IN ATLANTIC and FLOW are playing cards, MELDON is watching Atlantic and Flow, Lil is drawing the plans for the boat, and Phoenix and Leonardo are talking. Leonardo: Can ...

Jesus Man! That was heavy. But so good. Was that just made up or based on a like a friend or something that that's happened to? It was excellent! Wow. ...

Wow this is heavy. It's good but... I didn't quite understand it though, I'm just a bit confused about the whole concept of this prologue. But it was good anyway.

GOOD WORK! Just a couple of suggestions :) The wooden door opened with a creak as Miles pushed it open. Rivers looked up from his desk and beckoned him to ...

I like it. I think that it is an excellent piece of writing. But there are definitely a couple of errors that I found whilst reading. It's still alive. It ...

The point of Tybalt's rapier was mere inches from Romeo's chest. Though I knew it was a vision of ghosts I could not stand and watch my love die by ...

Good work! Just watch you grammar. Everytime you finish a line make sure there is a comma. You get me? :) I hope you do, just PM me if you ...

This is good and powerful. I thing it's good.

I love it. It's short, it's sweet and very effective description. I can imagine the setting clearly. Well done.

lovely. This is very pretty. I love it so much. Be careful with capitals though. But i thought it was wonderful. It's worth a lot of praise.

beautiful piece of poetry here. It's lovely. Keep going!

I like it. I don't really like fantasy...I don't know why just don't. But this was good.

Um.... Yeah Its great! Though i feel a bit weird cos now everyone seems to "know" what "love" is and I feel like i don't. GREAT WORK!

Very goood! This is excellent! one concern: gathered at our newly build kingdom Shouldn't it be 'Built" But its good very interesting: Maybe extend on some bit but its excellent!