Harley

this is really cool, and the detail is great, but i think there's a little too much. i found myself skimming; i don't like skimming. also, the part that says ...

Go Sam, it's your birthday Now go do a happy dance in your pink and black converses :wink: :P :D Excellent as usual, m'dear. Keep it up or me and ...

I liked this, but I found myself scanning the large paragraphs. I would break them down, as they can seem discouraging to the reader. that's about it, except a few ...

It's really awesome, but it could use some grammar. im not worthy enough for you, and this place. i should just leave, find somewhere that wants me, but where??? I ...

I think that you're using poetic terms without really giving the reader an idea what you mean. Example: Placid lake fears What do you mean? And maybe what? I think ...

i agree with ohhewwo (by the way, how do you pronounce your name?) almost every pop-ish song out just now is about love, whereas the rock scene just now is ...

Cool- i like the firt four lines in each verse; sounds like it's about trying to find inspiration for songs. lol- it's really hard, i have a song like this ...

Jack's picked up on most of the mistakes, yeah. It's pretty good, except i found myself scanning a lot of it. The detail was great, but i suggest you take ...

I agree, kind of a cliche. here the wind whisper this should be "hear" if you want the verb, or "whispers" if you want to say that the wind whispers ...

I loved it, really, it was a great start and I'd love to see more. He enjoyed walking on the beach by himself in the early morning; there was something ...

I thinks it's quite good, but it's hard to tell that the character is a boy, and there's some grammar mistakes that confuzzled me; their hands clasped together and their ...

I like it!! YAY it's good! The layout is a little off, but i'll show you how i'd set it out. i just think that the layout really improves a ...

It's okay, escept for a couple of things; Phillis: (laughing) Shut it. I don't think she should laugh and say "shut it". Would you? Ryan: I can’t, oh what, this ...

Yup, this is the best so far, no question. I think the repeated line at the end made the poem a little laboured. I think you should've made it a ...

Gotta agree with ohhewwo on this one. It doesn't show very much emotion, y'know? Try and explain all the feeling, how you are feeling, how you think your mum and ...