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Re: The Song of Mankind
Repetition is a useful tool. Especially in groups of three, it seems often like the perfect number of repeats to help us remember a sequence or a word. There is ...
Mar 23, 2013 -
Re: How Am I To...
My first question to you is what you think separates poetry from prose. What do you think makes a piece of writing able to be categorized as a poem instead ...
Mar 23, 2013 -
Re: a thousand leagues (into the sea)
This is what I have: A gorgeous, visual, vivid beginning, and a mind-bending last two lines with not a lot in between. I understand that a lot about the sea ...
Mar 22, 2013 -
Re: ever-shifting waves
So! This is probably a poem really close to your heart. We have all lived through summers and maybe the idea of missing them, that they're caught behind the wall ...
Mar 22, 2013 -
Re: I am afraid.
So, when I was studying fiction writing at college, I remember my teachers often saying that the first page or so of a work can often be readily cut, because ...
Mar 22, 2013 -
Re: Seven Sheep
I'll second that your synopsis is immediately intriguing, so AWESOME job on that. haha. I'm now going to give you my thoughts as I read through the first time. You ...
Mar 22, 2013 -
Re: Evening in the City
These are first-read-through impressions: you can see that we are all no more than insects, foraging through the day Two things here. Sudden direct address is awkward. You jerk the ...
Mar 1, 2013 -
Re: Forget-Me-Nots
I think the awesomeness of the sentiment of the first two lines was lost in a very straight-forward, not so crafted rest of the poem. Yes, we know roses are ...
Mar 1, 2013 -
Re: Untitled Project - Episodic
I don't understand what this is meant to be. I guess in a serious of other scenes with these characters it would make sense, but this doesn't even seem to ...
Mar 1, 2013 -
Re: A Colloid of Glass
Woah! This! What? This is nice. This is so weird, and it needs a lot of cleaning up, but for some reason I like it how it is. I like ...
Mar 1, 2013 -
Re: O, Tuberosity!
This is pretty well carried off, and I love potatoes more than anything. I have been lately wondering if it's true that we can live off just potatoes and butter, ...
Mar 1, 2013 -
Re: Clockwork Kiss ~ Part 1
This is an interesting premise. There's a lot of power in dream and dream imagery. Many of us dream, and many of us try to look for meaning in our ...
Mar 1, 2013 -
Re: An Unpaid Extra
I was totally with you on how you wanted to portray this girl as kind of feeling like she was in a bland life while other narratives had their slopes ...
Mar 1, 2013 -
Re: Death of a Child
Ahh! I don't know! I feel like I've seen this before, even if indie hasn't. It always gets played the same way: the kid's too innocent to even know what's ...
Mar 1, 2013 -
Re: Deleted
I think the first thing your writing could benefit from is you going through with the strictest of eyes to see which words are unnecessary in the meaning that you ...
Mar 1, 2013
