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Re: Reality's Melodrama
I like the little bit of insight at the end. Most of this poem is too overdone for my taste. There's a point where writing about common experiences isn't as ...
Jun 8, 2013 -
Re: Devil Touch - Prologue
Remy, the water master Compared to the other four descriptions, this is way less active. Others dance or tame or shake, but you use such a vague verb for Remy: ...
Jun 8, 2013 -
Re: Fantasy land: Just and idea for a story.
Hey, Jordin! Fellow Knight here, to hop on your novel as you suggested. First things first. Are you posting from a device other than your computer? Even when we're just ...
Jun 8, 2013 -
Re: Conversation In a Diner
The small “Order 64” sheet [Note to self: phrase better] You might call it the number ticket. In the end, I have to larger impressions about this piece. One, I ...
Jun 8, 2013 -
Re:
Okay! Well, I'd say this is not really fit for a poem format. I think making this a prose essay would work really well. It's a powerful, intense subject, and ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: Deaths Angel
Ah! So. I am exceedingly glad that you do not steer away from gory details. In this plot, they are necessary to make the scene feel real. That said, I ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: taken down.
What?! What is going on here? You skipped all the good parts!? haha. First, I love the specificity with which you talk about when you found poetry. I think the ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: The Beginning of the End
Oh! Oh my gosh! I love a lot of this! I love the idea of this, haven't seen it before, and you've stumbled on some brilliant language to discuss this ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: Deleted
Um. ahaha. I. I liked the reality in which this poem started. I think the image of the legs against the light is very vivid and specific and really brings ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: The Books on the Shelf
I think a lot of this works well. I haven't listened to the original! So! That's where my review's coming from. I love that somehow, even while being restricted to ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: Milk and Wine
Whoo. So. I think you have a good concept and a good train of thought under all of this, but what this piece really needs is for you to go ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: Who am I?
Huh. I am the kind of person who has always needed a plan for living, and until recently I've always known what my next step was. Now I'm sitting out ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: Blink
Ahaha, I don't know. I don't watch Doctor Who but I know the angel things are statues and if you don't look at them they come to get you or ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: What Am I?
I think it would be important in a riddle to not use the verb form of the item you're trying to sneakily describe. So when you give everything away right ...
Mar 24, 2013 -
Re: Sing With Your Fingertips
Eek! Um! First! The window pane is the glass that makes the window. Usually windows are in sections, so one of those sections is the pane. o_o So I don't ...
Mar 24, 2013
