Hannah

Hi, Izzy. One thing that I really appreciated about this poem was how you delivered it as if it were straightforward, when it's really not and its purpose is to ...

Hi, Elinor. I guess what I can do right now is heartily second the advice you've already gotten. This poem lacks a certain feeling, and I think some if comes ...

Hi, Sealegs! ^_^ I've seen you around so I thought I would stop in to review~ First of all, I like this idea. However, after looking back at the title, ...

Hi, Forest! Remember me? :D It's nice for me to be able to see one of your poems, so hopefully I can help out with some suggestions. First of all, ...

Hi, Emma! ^_^ Welcome to YWS. Be sure to post an introduction thread in the welcome forum if you haven't already, so we can greet you properly. ^_^ I'm Hannah. ...

Hi, Snoink! ^_^ Something that I think needs to be done in this poem is a revisitation of the first lines. I can't stop my fingers from trembling. Hold them ...

I think that this haiku could benefit from a topic. I guess it's hard to say 'edit your haiku', because it's easier to throw them away, so maybe I'll just ...

What's the point of having all those lines? I think this might be equally as powerful as a couplet. 'Tick - The fives line up on the face of the ...

Hi, DayDreams. Welcome to poetry! How did you like it? Hehe. In order to get punctuation into your poetry if you're not used to it, I would recommend taking the ...

Hello, Nike! ^_^ So, is this 'to be continued'? I guess what I have to say about these lyrics is that I think they should be written more like a ...

Before I critique this, I'm going to ask you why you posted it if it doesn't mean anything to you. What is the point of that disclaimer? To make our ...

Hi, Jester! I don't know if this a continuation of anything. I don't think it is, but I'm confused and tired. So if it is, excuse my ignorance. Anyways, let's ...

Thumb? Really? It was funny, as I'm sure you knew, and that kind of ruined the whole tone of the poem. If that's what you were going for, a little ...

I take it this is meant to be read aloud? It's a great idea. I don't know if you're familiar with the genre or the idea of slam poetry, because ...

Jenni321 said it all already lol. But you spelled realization wrong. You spelled it r-e-a-l-i-s-a-t-i-o-n Keep in mind, Layla, that different countries have different spellings. That's the British spe