GryphonFledgling

Dang! He's six feet at what? 13? 14? *is jealous* Anyway, this was pretty short, but it was all right. It moved kind of quickly. Maybe you could slow down ...

Congrats on updating! A lot happens in this chapter for how short it is. You kind of seem to rush through it. Maybe you could slow down and describe things ...

Hey, don't worry about the rejection. You wrote a great piece of work here. I really liked this. All of the internal responses and thoughts of the character were great. ...

*sniggers* This was awesome. I wish I was this productive when I was bored. This was quite the masterpiece. I loved all the little terms that the penguins used : ...

This was short, but it was nice. You did rush through the hospital part a bit, but maybe that was intentional. At first, I liked the italicized he , but ...

This was an interesting piece. The snapshots are pretty neat, though they don't seem to follow any particular order, so I was a little lost as to what exactly was ...

I like the edited version much more. It has much stronger lines and the message comes across much clearer for it. Great move with dividing it up into smaller stanzas. ...

I liked it. For fifth grade, this is considerable talent. *is tinged with a little green* Yeah, it's a little cliche, but you wrote it well. The language was nice, ...

Geez, this was great. Your rhythm was ever-changing, but it always worked, and your rhyme scheme really seemed natural, without being forced. I loved the imagery and language in this ...

Nice work. It was well-written and pretty solid. It is pretty short, however, so I didn't have much to critique on by way of story. All I really have is ...

1: Does the second person work for Blizzard's flashback? Yes. It was interesting to read a flashback in second person. I have never seen that done before. Really neat idea. ...

That was great. I had a good laugh over Milkman being a superhero... or something.... And Business Man was hysterical. There were a few typographical and grammar errors, but I ...

I liked this. The dialogue between Pride and her mother was a little stilted in some places, as was some of your prose, but overall, it was a great read. ...

I have mixed feelings about this song. It is truthful in the way it screams to be 'left alone', but it doesn't tell us what it is mad at. Just ...

Hmmm, I liked this. It was quite powerful. You are a talented writer. Your themes are a little cliche, but you manage to write a strong poem. You have nice ...