GryphonFledgling

Are my transitions from diction to narration good? Yup, seem good to me. Are my characters portrayed in a believable manner? Yes, I think so. My biggest critique with them ...

I've seen this idea done once before, but it was slightly different. Interesting that I found two stories about such an original idea lately. (It was on a different writing ...

Hmmm... I really didn't understand the killing of himself. It seems to me that he would try to piece himself back together. Then again... Yeah, he was probably too warped ...

Weird... very weird... And yet good... I was a little confused by the style of this piece. It really made the mailman seem simple or mentally slow or something. I ...

This was quite a tragic story. 1) Are the characters credible? Do they need some fleshing out? Raymond seemed pretty credible to me. We really only get a picture of ...

Intense poem here... Very sad. Your rhyming was nice, but your rhythm seemed a little choppy or uneven in some places. Have someone who has never read it read it ...

Awww. This is so sad, and cute all at once. My biggest critique would be about the child's voice. While the style is great, this really doesn't sound like a ...

I disagree a bit with Kyte's suggestion about synonyms for 'soul'. It's what they are and to give them too many names might be confusing. However, it is your story, ...

We have a moment of emotion, but in all honesty, I really don't feel attachment to Carmen. I didn't know her father or how he treated her, so I don't ...

This was pretty emotional to read. I have a slightly similar situation my own household, so it was like reading my situation in a different way. All I can say ...

Hmmm... My critique of this chapter would be that we really again don't get to see what it is that makes Rebecca different. We kind of get that she reads ...

Is this going to be continued? Because as is, the reader (me!) is left hanging. You set up a great situation, but I still want to know what the bad ...

I really can't say I cared for this poem. It was rather crude and didn't have much point to it. Your rhyming was all right and Stephixy already pointed out ...

I liked the emotion in this poem. You did a good job of expressing frustration, hurt, anger and so forth through your words. The rhythm seemed a little choppy to ...

The last time someone died. Everybody cried, then everyone lied. Lied to themselves of what really happened. I really liked this part. I think it is the best section of ...