GryphonFledgling

Interesting, but I must scold you. Underage drinking and smoking is really not good for you! While relatively well written (with the exception of a few spelling errors, see below) ...

I really liked the unorthodox formatting of this poem. It adds so much to the choppy, violent writing. Your descriptions were great stuff. Ha, as a totally weird coincidence, I ...

Lack of understanding of what? If this neighborhood is so peaceful, what provoked the character into running away? Two chapters and we still don't know. It would be good to ...

You left yourself a review when you asked your question. Just do the same thing on other people's writings. Interesting concept for your story. However, you get your point across ...

Yes, please put it in poetry format. At first I thought it was just a paragraph until I read what section it was put in. You have quite a few ...

Awww... You sound so lonely... I shall brighten your day. *boogies* I was right. Were-wolves! Ha! This theme has been done before (were-wolf falls in love with human, even at ...

'K, I'll say right now that I am no expert at poetry. But this was just so pretty that I had to say something. I really liked this. It just ...

I agree with Joe in that the "ooh, gotcha" moment with the false plane crash scare (well, not false, but not that plane). It doesn't do anything for the story ...

Wow. I really liked this. I wasn't really drawn in at first (the wristwatch spiel was well-written, but it just didn't grab me and I don't really see what it ...

Very nice. But what is the strange flower supposed to be? I liked the idea of the things changing colors. But I am a little confused: if everything is black ...

No, Runaway, that's just official-type lingo. It is perfectly legitimate. I liked it. My main concern is that one chunk of text near the middle, where all the dialogue is. ...

Awww, poor cat. Interesting challenge. (I'm doing something similar currently...) I look forward to seeing more of your results! One critique: "Come 'mere" is generally spelled "C'mere." It's a contra

I have to agree that this needs a lot of work. The reader really knows nothing about the character: why they are running away, if it is a guy or ...

Did you edit this? Because it appears to be in first person, rather than third. It's great that way... It just isn't in third person. Yeah, at first I was ...

Interesting. What exactly is his mission? What is his purpose in life? *taps fingers impatiently* Will have to read more, I suspect... He's only sixteen? How long has he had ...