Griffinkeeper

I got to say, I really want to like this story. “What exactly are we waiting for?” Jimmy seemed terribly excited, practically sprining out of his shoes. He brought his ...

“Wow, twenty four years ago was when Lucifer invaded this dimension. Can you believe it?” said my brother Austin with a smile on his face. It was a beautiful day ...

Welcome to YWS! My name is Griffinkeeper, I'm one of the cuddly moderators on YWS. Imagine gryphony feathery fluff. I'll be reviewing your work for today. I've seen some of ...

This story is full of purple prose. Purple prose is what happens when a writer deliberately over-complicates their writing; usually because they are trying to impress the reader with their ...

The piece was well written. I didn't find the torture aspects to be very impressive. When you are interrogating someone; the last thing you want to do is to kill ...

This story... sucks. Let's start with the ABC's. Not the actual letters; ABC in this case stands for Action, Background, and Conflict. This story only has one of these. Action: ...

Hey Mimiac! I understand where you're coming from; I haven't written anything in a while either. These little pieces are great for shaking off the rust; and so let's see ...

Ugh. The pace of the story is just glacial. Kaela walks with a limp. She favors her left foot, but as she grew up she learned to move with deliberate ...

The piece is in need of further development. Let's start with the notes. Dearest Sister, I apologize about last night. Unfortunately, the King is having some trouble on the edge ...

I love your cwtches. Which last forever... I never trust words without vowels in them. But Grif, it's part of the Welsh language... Do you really trust people who can't ...

Hello, my name is Grif and I'm here to review your poem. I like the concept, but I think there are some structural problems with it. Never again will you ...

First, this is in blocks of text, which makes it really difficult to follow. The problems are bigger than that though, because the reactions of the police officer and the ...

The book of Proverbs is my favorite book from the Bible, so I am very pleased to see this poem. There are a couple things though, which would help the ...

From the work description, I think that this was more for blowing off steam than writing something creative. Which isn't bad. I mean, everyone needs to blow off some steam ...

Hi, I'm Griffinkeeper and this is going to be my review. I noticed that you have this in parts, you might be interested in moving it in the "Fantasy Novel" ...