Published December 14, 2011
Hello there nation. It's me, Walter. I know that I disagree with people on stuff but what the hell? Who critiques a blog? It's not really even like worth it. I'm not gonna do any corrections so please don't critique it. I like leaving questions at the bottom for you guys to answer but I'll stop if people are just going to nitpick my work especially if it's just to piss me off. How'll I stop it? Well i'll just disable comments. Well I watched the new trailer for the new G.I.JOE and holy crap. It looks awesome. I'll leave the link in a comment or if it's not there...I'm lazy and I don't feel like it. I discovered a new couple favorite DC character. My two new favs are Nightwing (formerly Robin, Batman's sidekick) and Arsenal (formerly Speedy, Green Arrow's sidekick). Both of them succeeded in growing out from under their Mentor's shadows and gained respect. I know that neither of them are real but eh for today they're my BAMFS of the day. I have several douche bags of the day, one of which is my dad. All he's doing is pissing me off. No it's not really my dad but eh. My real douche bags of the day are just the group of people who sit there and critique and nitpick the hell out of my writing. I don't appreciate it so please don't. I'm getting very distracted by my dad who is just continuously reaching forward and trying to flick my ears..DAMMIT he's ticklling me..i'm almost out of my chair. I'm also going to announce that I'm going to run for president in either 2036 or 2040. I think I have some good ideas and that i'd be a real peoples politician. VOTE FOR ME lol. Share the love and follow me or leave a message on my wall. My question of the day is either who's your favorite superhero or which member of the family really annoys you (out of love of course -as my dad flicks my ear lobes-) I'm Walter Fleming and I approve this message.
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139,441 Literary Works • 672,564 Reviews
Welcome to YWS!
My name is Griffinkeeper, I'm one of the cuddly moderators on YWS. Imagine gryphony feathery fluff. I'll be reviewing your work for today.
I've seen some of your other work and I thought it was hilarious. You managed to convince everyone that this is actually your blog, when it is clearly a blog of one of your characters. It's not the first time that someone has written a diary story on YWS, but it is by far the most convincing. Let's dive right on in, shall we?
Oh noes! Block of text! I've got just the thing for it though. *Pulls out a SPEW weapon and sets it to "Spacing" then fires.*
KABOOM!
Amazing what SPEW weaponry can do, isn't it?
I think it's rather unusual how Walter addresses the reader. After all, if it's a blog, then the audience can easily be international. Maybe a more general salutation would be appropriate, like "Hey peep's" or "gazizza everyone." Since it is part of the dialogue, I'm not going to critique the styling; but it is very informative about the character.
I particularly like the authenticity of this dialogue. Usually when people make up blogs; they have plot details, interspersed with random bits of information that usually have no significance. Real blogs have a lot more of the random information, rather than plot stuff; so it's nice to see that incorporated.
In particular, I like the detail about "growing out from under their Mentor's shadows..." it is a very real desire that many people have, but few actually incorporate into their stories.
I love how Walter is complaining about his Dad, who then comes in and begins tickling him. I found it very endearing.
Simply wonderful. There isn't much in the way of plot development in this piece that I can tell, but the character development was very well done. It sounds like a whiny teenager blog; but it is so authentic that I don't mind it as much as I normally would. So even though the character is annoying; I want to read more just to see what happens to him next; to see what challenges he comes across and how he will grow to overcome them. To see the boy become a man of character.
By all means, keep writing.
We discussed this already. *Glares a bit* But let's try and be nicer this time, huh? Now that I've calmed down. I understand that you want to get your point across but the person above me has it right. Also, again, this isn't a blog. I keep telling you.
I don't understand. What do you expect us to do with this other than review it and 'nitpick the hell out of it'. This is where people post literary works for reviews, not where people post blogs. We have a specific areas for blogs, not here, especially if you don't want any critical help for it.
At first, I thought you had some sort of point, but I feel like the only reason you're doing this is to spite the people who told you to stop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bSX2oxLdcWA