Griffinkeeper

Ok, everyone, you can either critique this piece, or write which genre of music do you think this song would be best supplied? Try and back it up with an ...

I'll move this to Fantasy Fiction. I crouched low to the stone floor. At the moment it felt more like ice, causing the cold to cut into my bare feet ...

She runs though the sky, tired but determined. Who? As though free of the world she forgets the suffering and pain she has [s]e[/s] i nflicted upon her [s]own[/s] town ...

Some of the newbies are posting some really neat stuff. My impressions of the characters: The spymaster was kind of likeable, but he talked too much. Spies make a living ...

I can't say I approve of the thrown in "hey, my character's a demon" plot twist, but other than that I found this piece pretty tolerable. "Times up" should be ...

This is a very erotic description of playing a clarinet. It makes me wonder what exactly it is that you do in your room during those long "practice" sessions. On ...

Describe the the five senses of it, and then describe how the character feels more than just - it was starting to drive her nuts. Her anxiety, her annoyance, her ...

Introduction? How about a character bio? Don't put this into a novel like it is now: it would be straight info dumping. There are better ways (through dialogue for instance) ...

It's something a lot of people can relate to...nice job! But try to include a little more dialogue. Descriptions great, dialogue bout 6/10. Keep writing! If you're going to critique ...

I think you tried to hard to make it exciting. The scene develops much too quickly and you lose the reader in the speed. Aspects of this don't make any ...

Not all critics are jealous Sharty. Please treat your fellow members courteously, even the harshest critics. They're just trying to help. I like poems that parody themselves. So many poems ...

You are info-dumping. Not good. This isn't a story, it's a biographical. There are character profiles everywhere, but there is no story that unites these characters, let alone introduces them. ...

Marx is a complete crackpot. A socialist maybe, an economist, never. His entire system is based off the idea that the lower class should work not for any capital, but ...

I took the liberty of removing the BB Code from your title. It just doesn't work there. I didn't like the way the story was told. There was nothing wrong ...

The plot is very basic and could be more interesting. The character is boring on purpose, I know, this isn't the problem. The problem is that just as he was ...