Griffinkeeper

This was a rather intense scene. There are some problems with using it as a prologue. First, prologues are used to introduce a conflict. My textbook example of this is ...

Things were going well, up until the point where the bodyguard spotted the sniper. Think about it, he goes through all that trouble to get a sniper rifle, then he ...

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As per the terms of our agreement, here is the first review. Deep in thickets, within the craggy countryside of no mans land, a faint glow flickers out to dissuade ...

This looks like a promising first draft. You seem to have a very good handle on what the plot is going to be, who the characters are, and what is ...

It rhymes, but it is very simple; I think it can be improved further. Allow me to explain: Poetry is all about painting a picture with words. The goal is ...

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Hi, I'm Grif. I didn't read the first chapter (there wasn't a link to it, which makes me wonder if you knew about the "Create Novel" option.) The entire thing ...

Hey emiliedanae, welcome to YWS! My general impression is that the story is hard to follow. Spelling errors and paragraph issues are mainly to blame, as well as a POV ...

Indeed, the stream of consciousness is more honest, perhaps, but it is also less coherent. The idea behind the stream of consciousness is that; when our minds are exploding with ...

I thought this poem was rather... poetic. I had to look up the words "jonquils" and "quicksilver" after reading the poem. Jonquils makes sense, but the line with quicksilver doesn't. ...

Welcome to YWS! I like this poem, not just because it's my namesake. It's got a lot of heart and it's very well written, if a little short. Some things ...

Welcome to YWS! I am very impressed with this story. A lot of romance novelists like to go into the soppy stuff right away. Instead, we are given a clear ...

Welcome to YWS! The flow of the poem is kind of disjointed, which makes it kind of hard to follow. As a result, I'm still not quite sure why we ...

Welcome to YWS! I found the flow of the poem to be very distracting. I was trying to figure out how to read it and the best way I could ...