Girl_in_pink

Sweet!!!...really loved it. Keep up the good work.

Hi again love it

DON'T LET IT BECOME CLICHE! Right now it is quite original and interesting, but I see how (in the future story) it could quite easily become no more that just ...

I think bring the story mor einto play so i can fully see what it is im waiting for

Hallelujah for short chapters, but i still favor the long ones. Although this wasn't my favorite

I wanna here your views!

Comment and share your views!

Thanks for the advice sam and i will keep you updated. luv girl_in_pink

I think the opening wasn't quite strong. But overall a really great idea. Love it!

Read this again and you'll know what they're talking about.

I loved the idea although the last part (jacked me up) but overall good attempt and i can't wait to read more of your work and see your improved progress ...

Last night was repetitive. But i loved it even more. good luck and great thinking.

There were two typo's but never mind. i'm not great at grammer either. but keep it up.

The last 2 lines were Hottie. Keep up ur great work.

No doubt, it was hott. keep it up-loved the idea.