GingerLizzy

Wow Luxor, that's just how I felt really. While I was reading it, I was really happy and I wanted the best for Paul, but afterwards it was like... Oh, ...

It's not mainly the horror that makes the novels so addictive/fabulous/all around good. It;s the way that he makes his way into the readers mind and makes them feel either ...

Hehe, well to all you people who critiqued this, may I just say that it won my contest. ^^ By the way PennyPenguin [that is now what I shall call ...

Ahh.. [covers eyes] this was scary. You do have a few spelling mistakes and also I think it would be better if you structured it in stanzas, but apart from ...

Hmmm.. Different and controversial. That's good. Not sure about the rhyming and rythmn in the first stanza, it seemed too out of place and for the first and opening stanza, ...

I didn;t read this because the fact that it was all blocked up together put me off. I know this doesnt truly help, but when this is edited, I'll come ...

I liked this... But I'm not so sure how I feel about it. I know this isn't much help so I think I'm going to review later when I've thought ...

There we go. I think I've edited out all the mistakes and such. Thanks. ^^

I liked this actually... Fabulous. I liked it a lot actually. Different and good. Super

Oh my goodness. Batteries are very dangerous; aren't they? I got battery acid in my eye once, had to go to the hospital and have an awful eye water jet ...

I liked this. Nonsensical = Fantastico. The ryhming scheme was really good.

I love burnt toast. It's very nice. Like this poem! This was super, I love poems about food [Pats my belly] especially when they are funny. This was top notch.

Wow Everyone seems to like the improvments Hehe, thanks everyone.

I followed some of the advice given and managed to edit this. Is it any better do you think? Thanks anyway everyone for all of your helpful tips, I appreciate ...

I agree definately; break it upi; 'cause then it'll give it a more professional look and also it may entice more people to read it. Other than that though; it ...