Published October 1, 2007
A softer way
To dizzle-dazzle
A brighter way
To roll the walk
This is the way we
Coke the rattle
As we stumble over chalk.
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141,411 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
I really like this. It has a nice, easy rhythm to it, and it flows off the tongue. Reminds me of Gwendolyn Brooks' "We Real Cool" poem, actually.
I like the imagery, as well as the sounds. It's all very light.
Keep up the nonsense.
I liked this. Nonsensical = Fantastico.
The ryhming scheme was really good.
You all are very right on the topic of meaning. Truthfully speaking, it doesn't really mean anything. And no, it wasn't meant to be a sound poem, although that would make sense. Actually, I was bored during class and decided to make a poem using phrases that didn't exist--which is why gadi and others had problems with 'coke the rattle.' it's a phrase I just made up out of the blue. If you want, you can use it, so long as you give me credit for it.
Have fun making up meanings for it, too!
Hmmmms, i like this but i aren't entierly sure what it's on about or what it means.
Sounds prettty good though.:]
Bye,
x
hmm...well I didn't get it but I'm not sure there is really all that much to get is there? I agree with Trident that it is a lot to do with sounds - which i like, especially:
To roll the walk
hmm yes it sounds nice...
Meevs
x
To me, this feels like a "sound poem" where your aim is less to give imagery and profundity and more to please the ears and tongue. That said, the last line is rather clumsy. If your intention was that I stumble over the word "stumble" then you succeeded, but otherwise it's much too forced, I believe.
I like this even though I am really sure what it is about. But the rhythm is very catchy and it somehow reminds me of a nursery rhyme. Nice work though.
Nice. I like the imagery there, though I don't understand exactly what you mean here...What is the softer way you are talking about? And "coke the rattle"? Sorry, my theasurus link doesn't work...and I am too lazy to open another page... :/