GingerLizzy

I thought this was too much like a story; it wasn't that poetic to be honest. But, it is your first post and gosh knows that my own first post ...

Oh my gosh.. This gave me chills down my spine! Super! I love how you created suspense with your first two lines; because you got me thinking... Ooh what's going ...

I actually don't know how I feel about this. It's so hard to think about the ryhthm of it all and some things are a little; huh? But, I did ...

I loved this, the flow worked well throughout the piece - which is always nice to see - especially when it is so beautifully entwined with descriptive imagery which makes ...

Wonderful. Although, like my autumn poem, it;s a bit littered with cliches and such; but it's still good. The flow was okay although I agree with KittyCat when she says ...

Wow. This was really good and I thought that the rhythm and flow worked perfectly. I agree with Night when he says that it could be a little more hard ...

I like controversial poems and stories 'cause they tend to be really hard hitting anf make the reader think deeply about what they're reading instead of just reading it and ...

I have to shamefacedly echo the reviews of the others as they seem to have outlined the main points of needed improvement. I felt that in some places the flow ...

[coughs a little] Brad is just a big diva - ignore him [coughs a little] Anyway ^^ I liked this, although the structure was just too much. I need verse ...

I disagree with the posts above [there was no need for two really] and think that they are in fact, overly harsh on this, but we get used to that ...

For a first attempt, may I say confratualtions.

You have some good imagery in here but the happiness of it all actually scares me. Were you going through a mental break down when you wrote this - because ...

I liked this, it flowed really well and it was structured fabulously, with a good rhythm. Although, when I got about three quarters of the way through the poem, I ...

Okay. so I agree with Aussie when she says that you should show and not tell - but I know how hard this is as I do it in almost ...

Well.. This was good if it was supposed to be silly and funny. Was it? I mean, you looked like an elf? That made me laugh but I didn;t understand ...