Fye

Hi, just to tell you a small fact I picked out. XD You mentioned Matt is partially Malaysian, and that's great! I live in Malaysia. But there's one thing. Well, ...

Is this a short story or chapter-by-chapter? I'll consider it a chapter-by-chapter. Anyway, this one was rather catching. You need to break it into paragraphs, though. :D “Tara? Is everything ...

This was really quite brilliant! I loved it very much. Yes, you have several grammar, spelling and first/third person mistakes; all of which has been noted well enough already. :) ...

Short, but moving! From the first sentence it caught my eye. First sentences are always crucial on whether the reader will continue reading or not. But you made it in ...

It was nice, I would say. :) Not too much of a poem person so I can't critique well here. Nonetheless, your description and imagination gave me the emotion. Felt ...

When you wrote the first contract I did critique as detailed as I could. You barely changed anything. Only a few words, maybe. You wrote so many more up to ...

Oh my, my name is a planet. Fye. Haha. Anyway, for a prologue it was okay, not bad but not wonderful either(maybe it's my taste.. Hmm.. I BET you it's ...

The chapters are short indeed! I read through all 3 chapters before I could think of a critique. But other than that, it's a nice story so far! However at ...

I agree with MadHatter this was better than the 1st contract. Just a few notes to go through: 1. Watch the tenses in the 2nd paragraph. It's past tense, no? ...

I agree with Kyte. Breaking up the paragraphs would help a lot! It was an interesting story. The beginning was rather dull for me, though. There was nothing to keep ...

Times Square is busy during the lunch rush. Everyone knows that, so why did I go through here to visit my target? I could have taken the alleyway to the ...