Funkymomo

Hi! This was really good! I love the theme and mood, it's a lovely poem. I think you could improve it a bit with some better vocabulary. I like the ...

Beautiful! I liked the "pulling free the cloud of smog part" that's definitely what paradise is about. You had good flow. Um, this review isn't really helpful because I can't ...

Wow, great story! I loved the set up and suspense. You did a really god job putting the information you need in the story, like Amira's villages customs and Orren's ...

Hey! I noticed that most of the grammar things have been pointed out, so I'll go on to other things. It's a little confusing, which definitely matches the confusion of ...

Wow, this was great! Very poetic, but sadly, I won't be able to give you much feedback, it's past my level of poetic skills. I understood it, but parts of ...

Ok, overall the whole thing was great. No grammar issues, no issues at all really. To me, it seemed like you were talking about an dictator who ignored all the ...

Hey there this was a great idea for a story, but it was predictable. when we are first told, in the first paragraph, that steven knightly was selfless, we know ...

so long, I've been gone but now I'm back on yewis can't think of more words Yewis? Nice. haha! You could say, i'm here, YWS And last line, let's get ...

Hi first off, I want to say it's amazing how SmilinG did such a long review on a short piece! Go you! Anyways, I'm pretty sure this was about a ...

I loved the hunger games, and this was great! I'll just address some grammar issues now- I drift back to the capital where It's Capitol, not capital. fix this throughout ...

Don't really get it. . . Well, i get it, but not the end. Hello Mr. Grant. I’m sorry I killed you. Who's mister grant, and before you said the ...

First thing I noticed was that you're inconsistent in your stanza's although it sounded fine when I read it aloud. Anyways, I love the message, of someone not appreciating something ...

Hello! I'll start at the end- For now I’ll stay silent, Until the day, I gather up the courage, To give the truth away. It was OK to me, it ...

Wow, this was really good! You really captured her sadness. My friend can so relate to this, she feels this exact way. The last sentence seemed a little long, you ...

Hey this is really great! It's an interesting view of evolution, i never thought of it! So,the only gramatical error was your paragraphing, you need a new paragraph whenever someone ...