Fizz

Hey I'm not going to label this as a review, because I just want to say a couple of things that aren't really related to the writing. This piece is ...

Ok, so you changed the format whilst I was writing this, but I think most of it is still relevant.

Very good point about the first person POV. I think I'll add something to the beginning that will tie up that problem, and the problem with Laura's significance. Thanks for ...

You have good eyes for proofing. I'll make those changes, thanks so much for the help!

You churn out great poetry like some kind of poetry machine. It's pretty righteous.

You are very very correct. I need some scenes to actually make a connection. Thanks so much for your review, it's helped a lot.

Thanks for the review! Firstly, I'm going to take your advice on the quotation marks, even if only because they have caused confusion (I just prefer the single ' aesthetically). ...

In response to all of your comments, I am now in total agreement. I've overused the blood metaphor here. I'm going to revise it, and see what I can do. ...

I like the raw emotion of this piece, and I felt a good connection with it. As much as I hate leaving these kinds of reviews, this needs some serious ...

Shino! Thank you so much! Unphased is the PERFECT word, thank you! In terms of sentence variation you are spot on. I see what you mean, it doesn't quite grab ...

I don't think it fits in to any kind of writing. Probably because it makes no sense. Have you ever been in that state of mind where your thoughts...'race and ...