Firestar

I liked it overall. But the problem was it didn't catch my attention right away and hold it. I had to force myself to read all the way to the ...

I liked the first part. But after the fifth line it seemed like it was a different poem, and I didn't like it. Also you were missing a few punctuation ...

Thank you for your comments!

You don't know who the voice is!!! *dances around chanting "I know I know"*

Great poem!! If you added a few more "fancy" words in there though, it would be even better.

A few grammar mistakes here and there, but overall it was very good.

This piece just has no real flavor. It's like chewing through a pineapple, you know your going to get to the good stuff sooner or later, but for now your ...

I liked it! Though I didn't get, on the last line, why you said you looked back. I thought you were already looking at the pool.

I liked all of the good words you used, but the poem didn't hold my attention that well. I had to read it three times to figure it out.

I thought it was amazing!! It was a bit bumpy here and there though.

The main reason I wrote it that way is because it's the prologue. But if you think it can be better "living it", I'll try writing it that way.

Thanks for the advice Prokaryote!

G'evening! Since Pork's already picked at your grammar, I'm here to blah about plot elements and whatnot. 1: Pandora is one of my favorite legends ever. You get points for ...

I liked it, but I would only suggest it to people who know what fore means. It actually sounded like something shel silverstein would write. There were some weird parts ...

A really funky song! (In other words, It was totaly awsome!!!!) It really catches you're eye/ear. Keep it up!