Reflection of the Sky

I liked this piece. Although I didn't get the ending part.

Uhm it's a little short. Maybe you can make this longer so that it would be very interesting!

This is good.

Maybe it could be a few lines longer to explain the thinking back part at the end. Also, that the end was three lines while the others were two didn't make sense.

With a few changes, this could be great.

it's very nice, but the last few lines seem a little out of place as if you had an idea but lost it along the way.

"For you are that immense stretch of space," This line breaks up the rhythm; it's too long.

" 'What would it be like, to sink
up into the clear blue and white clouded sky. " This should be a question mark, shouldn't it? And you only put quotations on one side of it, you need to add the other.

Maybe a tad more imagery? ... or maybe not. I just think in some places you're more tellings us than showing us. I like this as is, but that doesn't mean it couldn't maybe be better. So good job. This was simple, peaceful, and well-done.


*adna*

You remind me of how my dad rhymes! *that brought me happiness on its own* I liked this poem, kinda peaceful, imagery was nice, even though you didn't describe much (which is actually possible). The ending was a little bit difficult to understand though, because it says 'looking back' though you never said you looked away.

I liked it! Though I didn't get, on the last line, why you said you looked back. I thought you were already looking at the pool.