What was it like?
To be betrayed by a kiss?
A symbol of love
Sending you to death
And what was it like?
To forgive the unforgiving?
To love your executioner,
Saving him at that
What was it like?
To hang from a tree?
Mocked by the men
Who’re charged to show God’s love
What was it like?
To hold every wrong?
To be thrown from God’s hand,
Bridging the gap sin caused
What was it like?
To rise from the dead?
To have conquered evil
And sit at God’s right hand
What was it like?
To be Jesus?
A man called the Christ
A sacrificial lamb for me, for you, for us.
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140,667 Literary Works • 673,588 Reviews
Im pretty sure the lines that AVilicious quoted should be:
To love your executor
Saving him of that.
Not To love your executioner.
Other than thaat great poem!!
Good job! I like how you asked all of the questions. It's not really questioning Jesus but wondering what it felt like and being in awe that he did it. The "love your executioner and saving him at that" was a very deep line that almost brought the entire poem together.
Instead of hanging on a cross, try tree. Tree is used a lot to describe the cross, but you don't actually know yet. Though a lot of the hints in the poem led to Jesus as well like betrayed by a kiss which was Judas. And since being hung on the cross was at the end it kind of led the way to Jesus, so this part of the poem was well said.
Anyway, I love the poem. And I'm almost at 500 points! Beat That!
Seeya
Jaden G.
This was great. I loved the unexpected theme of Jesus. The poem was unique and simple, and didn't shove the message down the reader's throat. I especially love the reference to Judas:
Great. I also loved:
However the only problem is your punctuation. There is a severe shortage of full stops. Other than that, I enjoyed it, well done.
Hope and Best Wishes,
Eimear
nice one! I like your questioning Jesus. Asking him what it was like... Maybe you could use a few LESS questions, but it really makes you reflect!
)
Lines I like:
to love your executioner, saving him at that
bridging the gap sin caused
What was it like? To be Jesus?
I don't get the betrayed by a kiss part... (shame on me for not attending church in almost 6 years now...
I love this, it's a great Easter (or anytime) poem. My favorite line is the love your executioner line. Powerful. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful, this is just too good!
-Elise
Great poem!! If you added a few more "fancy" words in there though, it would be even better.
That was nice, It might help to avoid using the word cross, that kind of gives it away that it is Jesus. I am not sure off the top of my head... maybe "What was it like, to be hung from a plank?" try that, because it might make to poem more enjoyable if the reader had no clue that it is Jesus. until the end when you reveal it. Try that. Oh fine then don't, gosh it was only a suggestion.
hehe. Goodjob, I liked it.
Best lines of the whole poem.
Try and use less questions and more imagery and figurative language and poetic devices. You have the meat, now add the fluffyness that makes it original. ^.^