Feltrix

Hello! I'm back! Sorry it took so long for me to get on with my reviewing. Anyway, I (finally) showed up. I. In the beginning, Dragon seems like he wants ...

Third review, third chapter. Let's go. I. Ah, some background on Dragon's abilities. Good. The introduction of Dr. Black was a bit abrupt, though. And if they worship the devil, ...

I'm back for the second chapter! I. Don't parenthesize offender(s). Just decide on one or more. II. Again, you jump into action quickly here. Remember, you don't need constant peril ...

Hello! Feltrix here for a review. I. The first paragraph goes by WAY too quickly. Try drawing it out, and sort of set the stage before you introduce all this ...

Hello! I'm Feltrix and I'm here for a kinda-sorta review thing. I play Magic and have read the modern lore, so I'm curious whether you're planning on following the story ...

Hello! I'm back for the second installment! I. Why? The left front tire had completely disappeared under the car, that’s why." This sounds like you're addressing the reader, which you ...

Hello! I'm here for a review, as stated by the large letters above. I. In the first sentence, instead of saying 'his' dreary mood, a name would be nice. Unless ...

Alright! Last review! For now.... I. Before you say that Tasha and Thana always get in fights, I'd recount the first tale of them getting in a fight. II. Is ...

As promised, I'm finishing chapter 3, which is good, because I owe Rydia some reviews and I don't want to end up on the blacklist. I. Speaking as someone who ...

Hello! I'm back! I'm going to try to finish chapter 3 today, maybe even chapter four. I. It seems like Agrona gets a new allegiance every chapter (the Pack, the ...

Hello! As you can see by the helpful info provided above, I am Feltrix and I'm reviewing. I. Don't say "A few months later..." Say (in narration) "A few months ...

I don't need to say who a I am or why I'm here, because it says everything you need to know is

I'll just pick up where I left off. IX. In the very first sentence, I'd say "What is it?" because I have never used 'what's' in that context. X. "'But ...

Hello! Normally at this point I'd give an introduction, but that is unnecessary seeing as everything you need to know about me can be found there.

Hello! Feltrix here for a review. I. The transition from chapter one was pretty abrupt. I'd try to smooth that out a bit. II. Ari's slang get's rid of a ...