Fan

Well, everyone else has preety much dismantled it and done their job well so I'll praise you on a job well done. Good job! *throws bits of praise at you*

Urghh.. All the spoilers for the book that I couldn't ignore quick enough turned out to be true....

Wow. :) This looks really good. I'm going to to go when I have the time so I can understand the story and give better opinions.

I really like your first few lines from the first chapter. To me, they seemed to describe he thrill of competing very well. Time seems to stop running like fluid ...

Eragon's myspace page?.................... :shock: I think I'm going to be sick.......................

Well... it appears that gyr and sworddance have done their job so I'll just say...... GREAT STORY!!! :P

Thank you for the crits, I knew something was missing! (but caffine-instilled awareness robs you of some senses sometimes)

I'm afraid I'm just a bitter old man in a young boy's body and when the old man gets annoyed, watch out .

I would kiss you for a very good story but I haven't quite got the hang of 'human-turns-to-code-and-pops-up-in-someone-else's-room' technology yet. Plus I think I would earn myself a suit for ...

I think Paolini needs to take a course in medieval warfare. Here are the reasons: 1.Silver and gold does NOT make good armour in any case (Unless of course, it's ...

:shock: ................................................... Just finished Eldest. I'll leave it at that.

Wow, I was in a hurry and planning to just scan stuff but when I delved furthur in and found your story, I had to read it all! And now ...

In my opinion, I think it gives a bad impression of young writers to the people who count.

About the characters, I feel it goes more like this: The characters are similar to star wars but they've been switched around with some things. For example: Love interest goes ...

Thank you for all your crits, they have been very helpful and I have edited it as advised. I hope you enjoy future stories.