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Hi Ginger, (you don't mind me calling you taht do you?) Ummm... I'm not a romance person but seeing as you asked on chat I think I'll try to do ...

“Show some respect!” Cassandra struck his face Although I know it's Colin's face being slapped, it would look better if you introduced him into the chapter with his name instead ...

I think that one of the stronger aspects of your writing is the writin gof emotional pieces, this one struck me in paticular. No, Erabus. You don’t know. I just ...

“You can’t be serious Bell,” straightening up,” Why risk revealing the Shadowmeres’ whereabouts on just one girl?” I think something is missing at 'straightening up'. If not, it sounds ver

Hi, sokool. Kitty's pretty much picked out the typos but I will very gladly second what she has said in that this is a good chapter. I keep trying to ...

“Oooo, room 23 A,” To me ummm... would sound better, but whatever rocks your boat. :D Pikara’s white blouse and beret lay flat by her feet. Hidden beneath the clothing ...

Popping in to say something before this cursed library computer logs me off. The snowflakes around her even seemed to swirl in an especially violent way, angry that something had ...

Ooooo...I likey! :) On a more serious note, I can see great things here. I also have wings as a form of transport (and battle), though I don't know if ...

instrument out of the mod puddle -I think you mean mud puddle. :wink: The room snapped into place, holding their fists in front of them and not moving a muscle. ...

Hey! These are all of course, suggestions and you do not have to comply if you don't want to. Free will ftw! Her life is in danger as it is,” ...

At least I aren’t chained up this time, he thought. There should be a 'I'm not', 'ain't' or the like where aren't is. Unless he can't speak great english of ...

Prime and Dawson Limited was his brainchild, a huge building packed with laboratories populated hundreds of research scientists working on the same, dark mystery that puzzled men such as Slizik ...

I woke up slowly. Every bit of my body ached. I decided not to move. As my surroundings came into focus, I tried to sit up. I was in some ...

The two colossal spires showed above the canopy of trees. They were the symbol and the landmark for the City of Trees and were a natural wonder, especially in such ...

Saw no-one had crit this so I'll give it a shot (but I'm no master). Vathen faced a sleepless night. Planning things out and wondering what he should do about ...