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Re: Sword Fight
Wow. This is really good! I like how you just stopped it suddenly, leaving the readers wondering. The description is good, but it could be better. Just a little more ...
Apr 29, 2012 -
Re: Make Waves
This is a really great poem. I really enjoyed reading it! Now, what you could do, and this is just a suggestion, is when you are repeating things, you could ...
Apr 29, 2012 -
Re: The breakdown
Nice poem :) There is a lot of raw emotion in it and the metaphors in it just pull me in, and just really makes me feel your pain. The ...
Apr 28, 2012 -
Re: What is love?
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more!!.......Sorry, I had to..... Anyway, great poem. I love the rhyme scheme and the way you arranged the words in a way ...
Apr 23, 2012 -
Re: Love's Poison
Hi, Fallen here, and I must say, this piece is really great:) It really gives the reader a feel for what you are trying to get across to them. And ...
Apr 23, 2012 -
Re: Memory
Ok, this is a good start, but you need to make it a little longer. It's good right now, but I feel like you can make it much better. I ...
Apr 23, 2012 -
Re: Just another day.
Okay, the story is good, and it's got a good story line, but it needs to be more descriptive. You want your reader to really have a feel for the ...
Apr 2, 2012 -
Re: The Magic Mushroom - Seven Fingers
This is good, but I feel like you need to add a bit more. Be a bit more descriptive. Think of the five senses when you are writing. See, smell, ...
Apr 1, 2012