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139,556 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
This is a really great poem. I really enjoyed reading it! Now, what you could do, and this is just a suggestion, is when you are repeating things, you could try rewording them in a way that they mean the same thing, but it's a different way of saying it. It's great right now, but I feel that you could make it better. Like here:
"These are the words from my stone heart
Always hiding myself from a world that’s grown colder"
This is good, but try wording it in a way that will make it flow better. For example, you could use something along the lines of
"These words flow from my heart of stone
As I linger in the shadows of a world so cold"
Other than that, this is really, really good! Great job, and keep writing!
~Fallen