FadingBrighter

I love fantasy, and I especially love fairies, so I was very happy upon discovering this!I especially like the cliffhanger ending - it is the perfect way to draw in ...

Heya! Very intriguing premise - I like the little fantasy tidbits scattered throughout the dialogue. It makes me want to get even deeper into the story! As for how this ...

Hello! I really like the premise of the story, and am excited to see where exactly you are going with this story! Your writing is fluid and easy to read, ...

Alright, as the first reviewer I feel bad that I am not really going to go over any of the grammar mistakes I found, but I will note that there ...

Hello! As I said, I am here to review your story! I started at the beginning to get some background, so here we go! Your writing was actually very smooth ...

Alrighty, so, there are quite a few time inconsistencies. Also, I am assuming you have not graduated high school yet as the graduation scene was a little bit off. I ...

Hello! First of all, I commend you for wanting to become an author! Such is not an easy task, but I wish you luck! Second, thank you for posting your ...

Hello again! In terms of story telling, this chapter is much smoother and easier to follow. I felt that Gibril's personality was more defined in this chapter, which was nice ...

Hi! First, I would like to thank you for posting this for review! I really enjoyed it, and appreciate your hard work as a writer in it's creation. Now, on ...

so sad... Beautifully written, but, as others have said before, you not only change tense but change from 'her' to 'you'. This is confusing because you don't have any transitions, ...

Good start, but for a short story this really leaves to much out. I know you only have 250 words, but... I was way confused. Your main character talks about ...

The smell of blood and burnt flesh stung his nostrils as the golden metal pulled from his skin. Teeth crushing against one another as another blow hit him in the ...

Just noticed a lot of grammatical errors that ruined the flow of the story. I suggest you go back through and reread what you wrote. I was beginning to know ...

I read the entire story and i liked it alot. I really think you should continue it. i do think it was a tad bit strange that she trusted Raphael ...

First off, great plot! But you need a little help on the writing part. your story was very choppy, and it was hard for me to keep up. [quote="paperbackheart"]Chapter One ...