Explosive_Pen

" “I don’t know.” She looked up at her owner with swollen eyes still healing from its last defeat in battle. They told a tale of fear and terror. They ...

Alrighty, nitpicks! Let's see what we can do here, huh? Black Water I tangle myself in the net of life while trying not to drown in its waters. Good metaphor! ...

Oh my God. I am so sorry that this happened to you; and yes, I know that sorry can't heal the scars, but it feels like the right thing to ...

First poetry post in ages

Your poem actually made me squirm. I was so uncomfortable with it. I've experianced bulemic feelings as well, with the whole I-feel-fat-I'm-gonna-go-stuff-myself, but I've never quite been able to mak

Oh, this is great. Fantastic. Guys like Xander are horrid, and if I were you, I'd have smacked him silly. Jake sounds like a really good friend. I like him ...

Woah, really long poem! Let's see what we can do with this, shall we? Pulling Apart My Sanity ~ I’m going to scream as loud as I can...But you won’t ...

Interesting. I think the real problem here is that there's no rhythm (I have rhythm issues too, though, so I won't penalize you for that too much). You poem looks ...

I had issues with your punctuation. Go back and add commas, periods, and semicolons where necessary. I loved your rhyme scheme. It was subtle, so it wasn't the dominant focus ...

"You took something of mine And I never want it back It’s forever changed And mangled In your hand" I love this. Amazing. :D Your poem was beautiful. The only ...

Okay, I was completely freaked out by this chapter. Chessie should've kicked the guy in the nuts. I bet that would've gotten him off of her. "Once, in eight grade" ...

"Since his house was just a few blocks away, I figured I could sneak inside, wake him up, and then we’d binge on vegan donuts till sunrise." Hah, vegan donuts. ...

"Five minutes later, we parked in front of The Sunrise Bakery. As soon as Avery opened his door, a monstrous, slobbery chocolate lab attacked him. The dog’s boulder-sized paws clamped ...

Loved it! It's absolutely genius. But yeah, I was confused with the tower. Care to explain? Anyway, I loved the easy-going dialogue and the suspense/ foreshadowing. Absolutely flawless. The line: ...

You got mixed up with the tenses in the first few paragraphs. Keep it all in past tense. Just when I was getting sick of the vampire cliches, I found ...