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Re: Abortion
Aww... So sad. I've always been pro-life, so this really made me cry. This is so beautifully written. There's so much raw emotion, and you really feel like you're the ...
Feb 5, 2009 -
Re: Lonely
TWIN!!!!! This is so sad... You've been lieing to me! No, but seriously, I know exactly how you feel. Alright, so nit-pickles: Alone in the room, The should be this. ...
Feb 2, 2009 -
Re: Their souls took flight
Um, first of all: chatspeak alert! Oh noez! That's one of the most annoying things ever, particularly because I can't understand one word of it. I know, I'm such a ...
Feb 2, 2009 -
Re: The lines pretty much speak for themselves
Hey! Okay, so I absolutely loved this poem. There's a lot that could have been fixed, punctuation-wise, but I'm feeling lazy today so I won't go in and put all ...
Feb 1, 2009 -
Re: My notebook
Bonjour. I love the slant rhyme in the first stanza. It's absolutely genius, and unlike with most slant rhymes, my mind doesn't stutter when I read it. In the last ...
Feb 1, 2009 -
Re: The Meaning of Life
Hiya. I'm a nitpick this, 'kay? There is a Magic to nature that will never be explained by science. ^Like Twin (aka Fluteluvr77) said before me, magic should not be ...
Feb 1, 2009 -
Re: A Loveable Torment
Aww, Twin. So sad. Yes, I know he is a horrible person. But don't feel bad. We all make mistakes (like me!). Rhythm issues. Like, lots of them. And the ...
Jan 30, 2009 -
Re: Life, Love, and Chocolate (Ch.2)
Wow, Twin, awesome! Didn't see any grammar mistakes so that's good. It seems really short though. A lot shorter than when we hand-wrote it. But that's probably because I write ...
Jan 30, 2009 -
Re: To Lily
Oh, June, this is beautiful. I mean, it's extremely sad and it makes want to go crawl under a rock, but it's beautifully written. Absolutely amazing, and I am so ...
Jan 30, 2009 -
Re: Life, Love, and Chocolate (Ch. 1)
Emily!!! Gahk, you know Twin doesn't punctuate (which is why she should've let me type it; tsk). And yeah, I told her not to put thoughts in quotes. And by ...
Jan 29, 2009 -
Re: Feeling Yourself Fall
In the tenth line, put "it's" before too. (El) I love the seventeenth line with the "grinning", nice personification there (May) Yes, we gave you a joint review. Feel special. ...
Jan 28, 2009 -
Re: The Horizon Awaits
This is wonderful. Like, amazing. I absolutely love your writing. It really resonates with me emotionally. Anyway, there's nothing here that I can critique except for in the last line. ...
Jan 28, 2009 -
Re: The Happy
Haha. This is hilarious. Totally made my day and made me smile. I absolutely love this. I adore the transitions from happy to angry and whatnot. Anyway, I can't find ...
Jan 27, 2009 -
Re: I Will Not Run
Just a quick note: I realize this poem lacks description, but description was never my strong point. My current style as a poet is to simply say what I need ...
Jan 27, 2009 -
Re: Writing's a pain.
This was beautiful. I think we all know and have experienced the pain that comes along with writing. This was very well-written and the rhyme scheme's creative. Except in the ...
Jan 25, 2009
