Happy, happy, happy!
That's the way I am,
Laughing, grinning, giggles!
I smile because I can!
Love, love, love!
That's my favorite thing,
Hearts, flowers, chocolate!
I swear, I could just sing!
Rainbows, rainbows, rainbows!
Oh, don't they bring such joy?
Sunshine, sparkles, happiness!
I'm only here to annoy—
Oh, dear.
So sorry if you read the above,
I forgot to take my pills
How did you manage to get through that?
Did you know that stuff can kill?
An overdose of Happy
Can permanently damage the brain—
Perhaps you should see a doctor
And from this poetry refrain,
I would suggest this highly,
In fact, you should take heed,
This amount of joy
I hope you'll never read.
Go on and find something else
To pass the time away
Because if you continue this,
Believe me, you will pay
Oh look, I'm out of medication
I used the last just now
What consequences will this have?
Oh, I wonder how—
I feel The Happy coming in!
Quick, run away! Go!
How much longer can I suppress this?
Not even I can know—!
Hello there! Are you feeling glum?
Perhaps I can help out!
I love rainbows, ponies and sugary sweets!
Of this I have no doubt!
Let's be friends! We'll be the best!
I can assure you this!
What's that, you say? Speak up, my friend!
My other self you miss?
Oh, I see. I understand now,
It's all perfectly clear—
You use me up then spit me out,
How could you do this, dear?
All I wanted was to make you smile!
That I promise is my mission,
But I suppose you're in denial
And you, my friend, won't listen
So go read your dark depressing works,
That speak of woe and night,
I'll just be here, waiting alone
But when the time is right...
I shall reprimand! Oh yes, I shall
And you WILL see the day
When happiness, rainbows, and lots of love
Will make you all pay!
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,029 Literary Works • 672,781 Reviews
Haha, I basically agree with all of the other comments. It was seriously funny. But maybe too long? I thought you could have made it just as funny with a few less stanzas. It seems a little drawn out. It was very original, and I loved it!
-Anna
After reading this (AWESOME) poem you have here, I went through and looked at reviews just to see what others had to say, and I noticed something interesting. Pretty much everyone said they laughed or found this poem hilarious and all that, but I honestly didn't laugh a bit. Sure, I smiled slightly to myself mostly because of the connection I felt toward both sides of this person as well as how fiendishly clever the whole thing is, but I don't know. Something about this poem registered more as "creepy" than "funny." I guess it has something to do with how I know I personally come across as a bright and shining person (I really do love cute things...and rainbows...and bunnies...eh hem), but beneath the smiles I'm actually a pretty twisted being with plenty of skeletons having their own little tea party with my personal demons in my closet. But then again, maybe I'm just reading too much into something that's supposed to be light hearted, but hey. That's the point of poetry right? *rambles on about poetry as if I know anything*
Now that I've bored you with my life story, I just want to give you a virtual high five for writing this.
*lifts hand*
Buckets o' love and sparkles and crap,
Bunny
This defiantly put a smile on my face! This was such a cute poem! It is way different from most of the things I read and defiantly refreshing. I thought it was perfect. Keep writing.
The reason that everyone's commenting on it now is because Nate has put the link to it on the homepage. Therefore, everyone is clicking on that link and checking this out.
Really nice poem, by the way!
A lot of people seem to like this poem, and I can see why, because it's full of zest and exuberance. What I find problematic with it is, firstly, its length. It needs to be shorter and cut straight to the chase of the argument. Ruthless paring down can only make your writing tighter and make the words' impact more deeply felt.
Which may also expose another flaw in this poem. It seems to be a case of style over substance: your jaunty rhyme scheme does little to hide the superficiality of your content. The whole "look at me, I'm so totally committed to the pursuit of happiness" thing gets a bit wearing and the poem starts to become monotonous, as if we're waiting for some new conflict to emerge. It starts out funny, but one can only tolerate it for so long!
I love, love, love this!!!!
And apparently everyone else does too!
Congrats on having 50 likes!
(which is actually going to turn to 51 after I post this reply.)
Nothing to critique.
Yup, absolutely nothing.
Please, please, please, please, keep writing.
And don't take your pills!!!!!!!!
Jane Thermopolis
loved it, it made me feel happy LOL
Hi anti-pop i am CaptianRandom
I loved this, it made me feel happy, it was good length and space between paragraphs, i love this poem and i hope to read more of your poems
-CaptianRandom
i am sorry. maybe i am just a synic or grumpy, but i didn't really care for this very much. i dont want to make it seem as if i just am a pouting jerk who just "doesnt like this," because it isnt helpful; i am going to list some things about this to reach a conclusion.
-you did a great job rhyming
-it didnt use words in a way that they would create a picture.
-i liked the abruptness of it.
-i liked that you used the irony of the first part to create the 2nd part.
-it seemed very rushed, to me, like i couldnt read it fast enough.
on closer inspection, i suppose i do like this.
This was a great poem. One of the best that I've read in a while!
It was hilarious. I seriously couldn't stop laughing.
Good job!
- RedRaven
I love this poem. It is one of the most hilarious poems I have ever read on YWS. Your poem describes the state of mania in the main character really well. Hopefully you write some more poems like this so poetry doesn't have to be so depressing.You just made my day.
Fiction
I loved the sarcasm and, as everybody else has said, the transition between the emotions.
I think poetry is particlarly hard to be funny in so that's seriously impressive! I wish I could write something like that!
Loved, loved, loved it. I laughed out loud.
Haha, I loved it, it was very entertaining and funny to read, espically since it was as I saw it, someone writing the poem and while writing her mood changed... It was fun, and the poem was very good xDD
*Clicks Like*
This poetry is amazing. I love the way the title gives it a very sinister touch, and yet the poem itself cancels that out with it's light-heartedness. Carry on writing. A world with this sort of poetry in it is a better world.
Wow, this is hilarious! I love it!
Nike
Ack, I didn't realize how much earlier this was written! For some reason, I missed it when it first came up on YWS. In any case, thanks for donating this poem to Spun Yarn! It's a really bizarre and twisted, yet horrifically cheery piece that would make anyone smile.
Don't bump threads more than two months old, especially when you have nothing more to say than "I like this".
And unlike Prokaryote's thread, I can actually close this one, so...
I love it, I love it, I love it! My cat was sitting on my lap while I read this and she had to get up because I was shaking so much from laughing! Thank you! You have saved me from the usual depressing poetry! And then there's love poetry, which sometimes makes me more depressed. But this is just.... hilarious! I love it =]
I am grinning now, like some idiot described in the poem. One suggestion: try shortening it a little. Too much of this is really overkill. In the first half, I was giggling madly, but by the end I was over it. A shorter version would end with the reader bawling their eyes out and rolling on the floor.
This is a pretty cool format, a parody, I guess. This is great!
LOL!!!! Gold Star abound for making me laugh for the first time today!!
YAY FOR HAPPY!!!
xoxo
Haha, I really liked it. It was funny, dark, and twisted.
This was one of the best poems I've ever read, it was hilarious!
, I do so enjoy it.
I love the way you wrote this, I laughed at every line. Truly brilliant, anti-pop!
Keep writing poetry please!
-Monday
okay so first time through, i was like "the heck is this?" this person is crazy, and this poem is just too wierd. but then i read it through again and i actually really liked it. maybe im just a really slow person to catch on - whatever. either way, im a very sarcastic person and so i really your little sarcasm-ness. These two stanzas are my favorite:
"Happy, happy, happy!
That's the way I am,
Laughing, grinning, giggles!
I smile because I can!
Love, love, love!
That's my favorite thing,
Hearts, flowers, chocolate!
I swear, I could just sing!"
i can totally just see some happy doofus smiling like an idiot. i mean these stanzas do a great job of painting that picture. so yea, i really liked this poem. sorry im not being very specific, but i mean you already have like 20 something review so i dont think you really want to hear all those specifics again from me.
Hey Anti-Pop^^ Shina here. Did you know you're hilarious?! This poem makes me smile. I've been seeing this all over the place on YWS and never actually read it. I thought it would be some sappy happy poem, but it's not. Power to the happy people! Smiles, rainbows, and sparkles! Unicorns! Yeah!!! My friend Jazlyn would love this poem. We hate gloomy people. Sometimes they make things really complicated. I'm not saying to not be sad, but just don't produce excess sad emotions.
For all who are reading this, you better listen up! That poem is something you oughta listen to
Sorry that's not much of a review, but I really didn't feel need for a review
Keep writing! I'm glad your portfolio is full of these ^^ I love your poems. I don't have to repeat it, but I will!!
~Shina
*toots horn and throws confetti everywhere*
Brilliant, I say, brilliant! Haha.
Anti-pop, that poem was awesome. It combined comedy and craziness. (Although those two do go together quite a lot nowadays. Haha.)
Anyway, I liked it a lot! I thought how you transferred from the "Crazy happy girl" to "Normal girl" was wonderful.
The ending? Great. She's basically suggesting literally killing us all with kindness. Haha.
1 gold star for Anti-pop! Woo! Haha.
Pretty cool. It's an engrossing read. I didn't quite see a point to it, but I am not always very good in the main idea area. Pretty good. I loved the rhymes, so consistent, very natural. there's a good ring to it. Question: maybe you could add a little more about how they will pay for being happy like that. Maybe try extending it a little? That's the only criticism I can dredge up. Good work!
I just clicked the star button! Well done!
I really liked the way your character went through a very dramatic series of changes in just a short amount of time. Also, you not only see how insane the main character is, but also the depth of the secondary character- his/her friend. The friend was trying to find out what was going on, and she wanted to see the depressing side because she wanted to break through the MC's facade. I thought this was a lovely piece!
-Ember
honestly, I read this and just had to say something.
this was, like most of your stuff, brilliant.
and oh so true, yet I notice, even though everyone syas how much they like the transition from happy to not happy, none of them seem to really know what that's like.
personally, I have been on medications, many before, for different things,
mostly sever ADHD/ADD but once I waas diagnosed with bi-polar...
anyhow, I came to the conclusion, that the meds steal your soul...
this poem was fairly accurate, and expressed something deeper than most people took from it..
it made me sad,
but happy too,
gold star
Peace,
God
OMG. That's like a cartoon, with the super cute and nice girl/guy/animal/monster going all evil. And it makes fun of how everything else on this board has dark meaning(but then, thats coming from someone who pretty much only uses Lyrics...)the ending line could be a bit longer, cause it breaks the rhythm, but it could also be a good ending.
lol.i dont like to read stuff like this but your word has a pop of life in it.
i think poetry like this reflects off the person.shows who you are.
its like everything you say is too good to be ture.like maybe you took some pills you should of not have talken.like its all a lie or you are totally random.
i totally liked it.good work
Just a warning. I am going to give you a real and clear honest critique. It might upset you, so if it does, stop reading after this first paragraph, but there are some major literary issues you need to address in this poem. First off, I am going to compliment you on the mood you were trying to convey, but if you were trying to be "dark" or eerie, I think you can see from the general response that your poem was more of a joke (as in, funny, unserious, not "bad") than anything else and you didn't pull it through. If you wanna see an example of an eerie poem, check out William Blake’s "The Chimney Sweeper" circa 1794 (the second version, not the first). In general, I liked where you were going with this poem.
From here I will give a numbered critique of what I think you need to work on in this poem from structure to content and lastly, I'll give some style tips, but these ones are specific to the poem and like all tips, they may or may not be used.
1) Too Long:
I think any poem in which I consider the length is too long. I'm not a lazy reader, so if I notice the length of a poem it speaks a lot for how the poem was written. I think there were too many "filler stanzas" and by "filler" I mean stanzas that sound good, but aren't needed at all to carry along the purpose of the poem. I feel like poems should have a purpose and stanzas help to carry it through, if you don't, then I won't stop you from continuing what you're doing.
Another evidence of a poem being too long is the appearance of bad and forced rhymes. For example,
"Rainbows, rainbows, rainbows!
Oh, don't they bring such joy?
Sunshine, sparkles, happiness!
I'm only here to annoy—"
This is inconsistency in the characters stream of conscious. Why would a rainbow loving sunshine cheering person say that they are annoying? It doesn't make sense. The last line was there purely to rhyme with joy. Furthermore, you got carried away with proving that this person was annoyingly happy 1-2 stanzas would have sufficed. In fact, one stanza would have carried along the point. To be honest, the only thing that line managed to prove was the fact that you, the writer, think happy people are annoying. This, however, is a fact that didn't need to taint your poem. Consistency in a charcter is important in both poetry AND literature, otherwise your poem may look like a joke against happy people like that and not a serious work of poetry and low and behold, from the comments I see, it did.
2) Grammar/Syntax/Semantics:
I'm not going to critique you on these things because I respect a poet's right to use grammar as a tool to convey his message. (i.e. e. e. cummings ).
3) Vocabulary:
“I shall reprimand!” Really? Usually I would applaud you for using high vocabulary, but this word is too harsh for this poem, and furthermore, I don’t think thats the word you are looking for. It would be better to choose something a lighter word that fit in with the characters motives more. This line and the “annoy—” line really threw me for a loop.
4) The Message:
There isn’t one. There’s a hint at one though. I think you really need to evolve this poem to something serious and see where that takes you, to be honest. Don’t think of it as a joke now and get serious. I think you can do a lot better on this.
5) Content
Maybe I am lazy, but I just don’t want to get into content. The biggest problem is you were too repetitive in everything. You kept establishing and reestablishing that this character as insanely happy, then you did it again to say that too much Happiness isn’t good for you, then you did it one last time in saying that the Happiness persona was back. The only stanzas I found interesting was the second shift, the one where there was the fight between the two personas (and the rhyming scheme fell apart, ironically) to the last one, but it was muddled by the use of “reprimand” (very poor word choice). What would have been better is if the personas didn't try waxing philosophy and deciding whether happiness is good for you or what they like, just kept having that battle to be the dominant personality.
6) Style:
It’s cliché. That’s my main problem. Your concept of “Happiness” is too cliché and shallow for my liking that I can’t take the true intent seriously. What would have been better is if the character was always expressing this “false happiness” but as the poem progressed; it cracked away and revealed something disgusting and horrible. But that kind of philosophical thinking comes with age and laziness, I guess. -.-
Well, anyway, even thought I did not really go as in depth as I wanted to, your poem has been critiqued.
Yatta!
P.S. Usually I paste the poem with some minor corrections, so I am sorry for not getting to that. Hope this helps. Best wishes.
OH my, anti-pop!
Can I shower you in my praise? Marvelous. Extraordinary. Love it. :] I can't help but be happy reading this piece.
You are an incredible poet. This is one of the most entertaining works of poetry I've read in a while. In fact, it might be the best I've ever read.
What also amazes me is that you seem to have abducted my everday thoughts and crammed them into this poem. It's quite amazing. If I might ash, how did you do that? You know, get in my mind and all? I'm betting you are a mind reader. . .or a talented wirter. . . or both.
Kudos!
-dd9
God, I can't stop laughing hysterically. Haha, I loved how the poem is sooo bright and un-reasonably happy. I love the transition between the happiness and unhappiness. It has a unique theme and is just hilarious...I've never read a funnier poem, so good job...Gold star for you!
fluteluvr77<3
OMG... THE LAUGHS CANNOT SUPPRESS ... MUCH... LONG... (bursts out laughing)
Only a few lines that need a little touch up... indicated in bold. Good work... Gives 15th gold star!
That was pretty amazing, Edgar Allan Poe would destroy you for this. I could never write a poem so entertaining. You've injected happiness straight into my veins, I'm going off to go enjoy myself now. Keep up the good work, I didn't catch anything that seemed too off.
This was one of the best poems I have read in a long time. It was really funny!!!
I loved the sarcasm in the beginning of the poem... and I loved the transition from happy to unhappy.
AMAZING!!!!!!!!!
Oh my goodness this is funny! I am so printing this out and reading it when I need a laugh!
These were the only lines that confused me. I feel like "This amount of joy" is missing a word. I'd put "that" at the beginning.
Other then that, this is priceless! I loved the theme of being happy when you don't want to be; very unusual.
~Rosey
This was a very amazing poem. It brightened up my day so, so very much. I'm doing this in school, so I have to be very quiet about this. Ssh. Well, I don't have any criticism for this. It was funny, and even my friends think so too. I'm glad I could stop myself from laughing out loud. The medication idea was hilarious, the Happy was scary, to say the least, and the ending was just ominous. Ominous in a good way, I mean. Well, I have nothing else to add, except that you rock! Gold star for you.
Absolutely well-written!
And I'm sort of a super-duper optimistic and happy person, and the first few stanzas are pretty much me in a nut-shell. Hahah xD
Except Ponies.
Ponies can die.
Oh my good golly gosh! You deserve to be showered in confetti and hugs.
*showers anti-pop in confetti and hugs*
This is quite hilarious. I love silly little poems like this. I think I may actually be in love.
Hahaha, now I'm suffering an overdose of happy!
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY!
well that was an adventure!
traversing the worlds of happy and melancholy.
it was real and true and honest, but not in a serious demeanor which was a blast.
frankly i loved it.
and the world best watch out for that day that they will pay =]
Hey there, anti-pop! Here's Kat to do a crappy review, because I have not much to say except the things already mentioned.
Incredible, I found this good. I did not laugh. I smiled. Because it's real; down to earth. Which means, IT'S REALLY GOOD! I don't like to read long poems, but you caught me on this one. I love how you passed from happy to so not happy
So, that's all I have to say! Good an unique poem!
Gold star
*Kat*
Y'know, I'm not a big poetry fan,
But many of the poems on YWS are amazingly unique and fantastic.
Your poem here, is a prime example.
All the quirky poets of YWS really ought to consider making a book,
Crammed full with unusual, but completely brilliant poems.
I'd totally buy it, even though I'm not a poetry nut.
Excellent job!
HAPPY
cool...
the main character..................is a happy psycho bi-otch........................
................
I was really down today so I read your poam. I started cracking up. It was so funny! The part about how you didn't take your medication made me laugh the hardest. Gosh, you should make a poem like that again because honestly it brightened my crummy day up! Please write more!
Haha. This is hilarious. Totally made my day and made me smile. I absolutely love this. I adore the transitions from happy to angry and whatnot.
Anyway, I can't find anything wrong with this poem except *cue dramatic horror movie music* in the seventh stanza, where you say "this", it should be "that".
Gold star for you!
Holy guacamole, anti-pop! Why didn't you tell me you were hilarious?
This is so EPIC. The EPICNESS of this poem make my head spin.
This is truly, honestly brilliant. I love the transition between happy self and non-happy self.
I could point out the few spots where the rhythym was slightly off, or the rhyming didn't exactly match, but I don't think I will. Because it seems unfair to give this a serious evil critique, since it's so perfectly brilliant and hilarious.
You rock EPICALLy.
...EPIC!
Ha. That was fun. Anyway, gold star!
~Evi
OMG, I can't stop laughing so can't my friends that are reading this behind my back. Give me please couple seconds..............Man! You are the funniest poem writer on this website. You deserve a star!
This is one of the most hilarious poems I've ever read.
*Gold stars*
Since I'm supposed to be doing school work right now (the benefits of homeschooling...), I will have to make a review (if I can find anything worth noting) later. Sorry, for being lazy but I just wanted to say that
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
- JC