Published June 29, 2008
There is an innocent beauty to a flower.
Like that of a young child, first discovering their world.
There is a Magic to nature that will never be explained by science.
This is why we are here, to see, to listen, to breathe, to live and die on this earth,
and to reap what bounties we may from the life we may have lived.
You will find these treasures in the places you would least expect of them; perhaps the greatest beauty of them all is the flower that grew out of the cold cracks in the concrete, standing defiant against the cold desperation of the cities.
The earth fights back to win what it has lost, and it may yet claim victory.
There is a beauty in life,
as there is a beauty in death,
just as all things natural have their own beauty, their own light
Such do we also have a beauty, one and all.
We are only as beautiful as we believe,
whether we may be scarred on the inside, or scarred on the outside, we are still beautiful.
Only we know how beautiful we truly are.
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140,903 Literary Works • 673,707 Reviews
This is the only thing I see in this whole thing that is in poem form... the rest of it... not so much. I would put the rest of it in poem form... it sure has the quality, flow, and potential to become a poem!
This is like, half poem and half story format... uh... change that please!
Weird... I was planning to write a poem on this anyway. Especially the flower parts... now where have I heard it before? Maybe I just read this before now. Sorry if I am making a fool of myself!
Nice ending... it could be a little more creative.
Well... there is not much to work with. I'm pretty sure you posted this as mostly a read- story and not a critique- story. Well, I critiqued anyway!
I liked this... though I really think it would be much better off in poetry form. If not, then at least change the whole of it to story- format! It seems like some of it is already in poetry style. Keep working on it!
of course, no 14 year old writes a book that is completely cheesy,
That was profound enough, I'd say. To quote the first two up there not at all in the
likeness of a seventeen year old. Nicely done. I wonder if its ironic enough that God
would tell us the meaning of life; it would totally negate the reason for faith and again if we knew the meaning to life we would need to live. The meaning of life is to find the
meaning of life. I enjoy the conjecture of others. If you are interested in my point of view, you might like the being of the book I'm writing: "Apocalypse". ( Not COMPLETELY
cheesy, I promise )
-catfood
not a nerd really, and yeah, that's part of the point, I think It is a perfectly legit answer, whatever your age
Ha that's the same though I had when I was ten except I just said it was to live the way you want to live I know I was such a nerd when I was 10.
Gorgeous. Accurate. Bravo for your prose, and your positive outlook!
Life is a gift, life is for living, I love how many teens have pointed that out here.
I'm seventeen too, but no one ever calls me deep
Wow that was absolutely inspiring and beautiful.
I agree with you all the way that we can find
beauty in everything
And I believe that everyone, no matter who you
are, or what your past is, is beautiful
I do believe there is magic in life, it's just up to
us if we're willing to see it.
This was Awesome!!!!!!
Keep Writing!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I loved this!
People say that I am too naieve about life, so it's good to know there are other out there who feel the way that I do!!
All the stuff about capitilsation-meh! That's what I think.
I actually think that it gives a nice effect, even if it's not grammtically corrrect!(which I'm not going to nitpick anyway-I'm here to review your story..not your grammar)
It really is beautiful.
But if you can't appreciate the entirety of something (including where it came from) then you can't appreciate it. If you love rainbows, but don't like the scientific explanation behind them, you're either ignorant or way too idealistic for your own good. I think the fact that physics can explain a rainbow makes it even better, in the exact same way that a person becomes more beautiful when you get to know them. And if you think that some things shouldn't be explained, you obviously have no respect for human curiosity, which, I think, is one of the most beautiful things on this earth. That same curiosity forms part of my theory for the meaning of life.
Anyway, I'm sorry this isn't really a review, but I think you've got everything in that respect from everyone else. Sometimes I like showing up at opportune moments and disagreeing with people. I hope you don't mind.
you know, I love that this touched so many people, but I have to say,
I was not talking about God, (not me, the other one) either way, I wasnt talking about either.
and the word "Magic" is capitalized for a very specific reason.
because it's important. because I am not talking about abstracts here. I am talking about things that go bump in the night, supernatural things, the things that science will never touch, and things that science should never touch, the word had a very special meaning to me, so I capitalized it.
something that kinda confused me, annoyed me, yet flattered me at the same time, was the fact that everyone seems surprised that I am 17.
does the fact that I am 17 really matter?
things that science should never touch, but has,
like rainbows. science raped the rainbow, what I mean, is that once you know how rainbows happen, light refracting through water when the angle of the light is such and such, it loses a kind of magic that it once had, it is no more a magical thing, but a thing made of light and water.
those things should never be touched. ever.
thank you all for the reviews, I appreciate the support.
Peace,
God
EVERYTHING CAN BE EXPLAINED BY SCIENCE!
[/rant]
sorry about that, but I am a believer, just not of any real religeon! I love science, and I can truely say that your peice was (sorta) touching... but it didn't make me believe in god. (not you) But yeah... I basically agree with all of the others. you should post thins in poetry or something... you have a gift! I don't know how a 17 year old can be that in-depth! keep it up!
i liked it
hey. I absolutely it. your style and phrasing fit the piece perfectly.
my favorite line is your opening.
its beautiful.
-lynne
Hiya. I'm a nitpick this, 'kay?
There is a Magic to nature that will never be explained by science.
^Like Twin (aka Fluteluvr77) said before me, magic should not be capitalized. Also, the to should be in.
we may from the life we may have lived.
^Ditch the second may.
You will find these treasures in the places you would least expect of them, perhaps the greatest beauty of them all is the flower that grew out of the cold cracks in the concrete, standing defiant against the cold desperation of the cities, the earth fights back to win what it has lost, and it may yet claim victory.
^ I'm being a grammar nazi here, but the first comma should be a semicolon and the third comma should be a period.
just as all thing natural have their own beauty, their own light
^Thing should be things, and there should be a semicolon at the end of this.
At the end, the overuse of beautiful kind of ruins the effect. Maybe find some stronger words?
Other than tht, I commend you. Really powerful message and theme. Gold star for you.
Wow, just wow. I can't believe that a 17-year old just wrote that. I mean that was unbelievable. It was the kind of story that I can't find much wrong with. But, being me, let me nitpick you to death on this anyway
.
There is a Magic to nature that will never be explained by science.
^Why is magic capitalized?
Such do we also have a beauty, one and all.
^This might just be me, but isn't it rather awkwardly worded? Try ditching the such, do, and the also maybe?
This piece was shocking and I'm utterly speechless. I loved the message that the purpose of life is simply to live. I mean, I think we lose track of that as we begin to concentrate on more petty things, such as money...Gold star for sheer perfection...
fluteluvr77<3
Any particular reason why "Magic" is capitalized. I don't really see a reason for it, as it is being used as an improper noun...
This was a very pretty piece. I have to disagree with you a bit on the message however.
I know some "beautiful" people who don't see themselves as such. It's not like I'm not "beautiful" (in the internal sense of the word) because I don't think so: other people can see me as beautiful whether or not I think so. I don't think the flower can see its simple beauty. It's in the eye of the beholder.
But this was a beautifully written piece. I liked the flow of it - an almost lyric prose. *thumbs up*
~GryphonFledgling
I really liked this. The depth was refreshing in comparison with some of the work written these days. I love depth in writing, philosophy and thoughts, I adore them.
I love that line! You have no idea to what extents I love it. 'tis so true.
Your prose was also nicely written, it ran smoothly, had a good flow and was nice to read. You also painted lovely images in my head with your descriptions and comparisons. I adored it. xD
Well done.
xoxo
This is exactly my views on life myself.
The point of life is, to live. Its so blindingly obvious.
Thanks both of you, and yes, to answer your question, the meaning of life is plainly, just living. To live your own life the way you think you should.
and by the way, Gandhi was actually a hindu.
peace.
i agree with hobbes that you have a very deep, intellectual outlook on life for a seventeen-year-old
ha! i love how two 13-year-olds told you that!
anyway, back to the piece...
grammar and punctuation checks out alright with me too, but that might not be very much to go on.
i really enjoyed this, even if it didn't explain what the meaning of life is directly, though it may have indirectly, as i think it did.
according to mark, your piece shows how to live life.
living is sort of the whole point of life.
kidding. kidding.
but the point of life to you would be living your life in those ways, correct?
anyhow, i really liked this.
nice work!
-GC10
wow.that...was...cool. that has some very deep meanings in it, that I would not expect from a 17 year old.you have a good outlook on life.
just a question, what religion are you?your name says God, like in chritianity,but your quote is from Ghandi.wasn't he buddist? don't get me wrong, Ghandi was a great man who had a lot of truth to his words(like your quote)but, yea.(I dont mean to intrude on your personal stuff,and you don't have to answer.Im just wondering)
yea.I think you have your grammar correct and puncuation down. this probably didn't help much. but i liked it.
one more thing, I don't think this explains the meaning of life.It just shows how to live it.I think there are a couple meanings to life,and to me, this is not one.from my view, live for God and glorify Him is one of them.
anyways,keep on writing.I like it.