Esmé

I saw that you didn't have any comments, so I though I would drop in and give you one :) Quote: years ago, I lived in that horrid place. It ...

Quote: The phone rang. “Jesus Christ!” He grabbed the phone and slammed it against the wall. Maybe you should get rid of the second ‘phone‘? Quote: “Jo.Anne.” I think you ...

Phorcys said it all. I have nothing to add,w ith the exception that I had o make myself read it. Note: I am not saying that your writing is rubbish, ...

Quote: When Simon awoke he was still entirely dressed and for some reason even with his shoes and socks on his feet was frozen. For some reason I have a ...

Quote: "Innocnce is nonsense these days. That's what grandfather used to always say. Sometimes on days like these i agree." from the diary of Tairen Zyiak January 12th, 1352. Not ...

You know what? I agree with Griffinkeeper and Phorcys. However, I wouldn’t be myself if I didn’t point out some minor mistakes… Quote: But one of his subordinates, Lieutenant Richards, ...

Quote: As I stepped into the road, I turned and looked at my boyfriend of 3 months - Alex ‘(…) my boyfriend of 3 months?’ That just doesn’t sound right… ...

Generally, I agree with the two above comment, lol J Quote: I had never been good about standing in front of a crowd, and even though there were only seven ...

As I was browsing the forums, I stumbled upon your story, lol. I real side that I have not read the chapters that you posted before (I quite knew) so ...

I would leave off the quote: like carrion drawn to a carcass I think your tryuing to make your story sound all impressive, (an dto a point that is good) ...

Tamora Pierce is great - she's a YA writer and wrote loads of fantastic books. Terry Prachett is okay, too. Whiever wrote "The Blue Sword" deserves to be here, to. ...

quote Little light was left for them to depend on now. I have a feeling that there is something wrong with this sentence, but I’m not entirely sure… quote In ...

Okay, so here is my critique: Quote Why this school still decided to keep her around was a mystery to Arella. She had a bad habit of skipping gym and ...

I also meant spaces after commas and full stops :) Its more decipherable that way. Aslo, apostrophes would be nice. Without them, it seem like you wrote the stroy just ...

Firstly, add question marks when they are needed =): a) The writing is more clear b) Simply because it is a courtesy to the reader Here we go: quote: "You ...