Eraqio

I'm drawing a blank right now as far as criticism goes so I'll just say what comes to mind. the end felt like an oh never mind kind of thing, ...

A few of the lines lost me, as far as imagery go, like to me they diddnt make sense. then again thats just me. the whole progression of the poem ...

Much of the piece read rather clumsily. You payed attention to how everything would probably have paced out and come to a head but you overlooked just a few fine ...

THe playfulness of this is really want pulled me in. I felt like I was being an entertaining story meant to hold my attention till the very end, which is ...

ahmmm. Well I liked it. In the very least. but really this needed more... well... length. Not an over explanation of the core concept or even a massive blathering to ...

It was too.... cluttered. at first. However as I went through it all the closeness of the lines contributed to the emotion coming through it all, the kind of subtle ...

Grimoire book of the lesser key this was alot harder to write than my first submission, feel free to tear apart I sat up, images of what I just witnessed ...

Sounds like the set up for a Romero film. Anyways. It was very good, not even being curt, I loved how you composed each description and even added in some ...

Epic...thats really all I can say. I loved your, well style is the obvious choice, but really I loved the feel of the entire peice, a kind of distant spectating ...

Towards the end I think I spied a typo. Onwards. This piece agitated my length trigger mainly because I prefer works of this calibre to give me more, feed my ...

Congratulations, you have earned my interest! The story's intimate stream of consciousness and the very human elements of adolescent uncertainty and nervousness were very well captured and every scene

Tad harsh for a first post. As I see it there was thought put into the personal aspect of this and it is very, very well done, the awkwardness of ...

I have to agree with the comment on the line, a bit cliche. However, this work was very emotful in a straightforward way that diddnt loose me in contrived or ...

hmm. The...uhmm, title just...has no visible or even tangible connection to the story. most of the time this wouldnt be an issue but this case is just...very... unwarranted. It threw ...

It was too short. For me. The action within it could use a facelift and a bit more detail, I was wondering exactly what was going on. Everything seems personal, ...