Published September 7, 2009
Is it possible,
for things to change?
Not talking about the world,
Their change is soon to come.
I'm speaking of us,
when it existed.
I'm not happy about it,
but it's for the best.
Yet, things cool down,
don't stay hot forever.
No words spoken till that night.
Remember? Goodbye.
I think it's time to remove that vow.
We should change our ways.
Enemy to friends, forget love,
It's not worth my time not more.
I learn it once, don't need it twice.
What I'm trying to say,
It's time for a change.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
I liked it... but I wasn't sure what you were talking about. Was it talking about humanity ruining the earth, and we need to band together to stop it? Or is it a relationships issue, because I get that impression from the 'things can change' line that you have repeated a lot throughout the poem.
I like this poem. Change is such an important idea that applies to all of life and I think you wrote about the subject well. The only thing I found wrong with it not already mentioned by other reviewers was this:
I think it would make more sense to say "It's not worth my time anymore." Well that's all I have to say. Happy writing!Towards the end I think I spied a typo.
Onwards.
This piece agitated my length trigger mainly because I prefer works of this calibre to give me more, feed my need for it's uniqueness.
Anyways.
Well done, I liked the tossing aside of the rest of the world that was implied at the beginning and then quickly forgetting the very idea of the world for the remainder was very touching.
The questioning nature and deprecating of the very relationship struck me the most out of the entire peice.
Please inform me if you have any more works, I would love to see them.
Star!
HI!!
Pudin Here!!!
I'll be honest, this seemed more for lyrics than for poem. It's good though, I liked it though in a way.
Some nitpicks.
why did you put their? You should have put its, sounds better.
I'm serious this serius, I even put rythm to this, and it sounds good. This is more like lyrics.
sorry if this wasn't very helpful. and by the way, this are just my opinions.
XOXO
Pudin